#SorryAsianParents

A goofy kid just trying to make sense of the world while trying to be Asian American


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Stage Name Comedy #02: Mental Health, Substance Abuse, and 3*tt Stuff

This is a quick video, I guess 40 min is quick, between Seth and I. The tone is a bit more serious than we intended due to the subject matter. We start off the convo with male anal foreplay and end it with a bright note about mental disorders and substance abuse. I want to remind everyone we’re not doctors so we may get some details wrong and we’re not giving anyone advice about anything. We are just talking about our experiences with alcohol, depression, social pressure on how to handle our emotions as a “man” and how I’ve experienced difficulty coming to terms with my *shudders in my computer chair* feelings as an Asian American male. I also apologize for my pj’s and shitty Internet connection.

Also, why does YouTube new uploading program kinda suck?


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Right Now, It’s About Supporting The BLM Movement

 

***This is mainly addressed to my Asian American community and specifically Southeast Asians because I know how trigger happy we are. So if you don’t want to read something I’m addressing to the Asian American community then I recommend you skip this because it might upset you a little bit.*** 

Hi hi. I just wanted to respond to something I’ve been seeing amongst my Asian American community. It’s an awkward time to post this and I don’t want to make it about us, but this mindset of “US Asian vs THEM other people of color” has to be addressed. 

I understand that some of y’all are feeling frustrated about the current crimes between people of color and the looting of AA businesses. When you’re angry, it’s easy to blur the lines between protesting and rioting/looting. (I also think there’s a conspiracy between white supremacists and looters teaming up to cause the riots but that’s beside the point.) 

I get it. You (we) have every right to be angry at the violence done onto AA and the destruction of private property because some of those moms and pops don’t have insurance. (We can’t all be Rooftop Koreans.) Because of this, I’ve seen a lot of AA saying racist stuff on social media or taking their anger out on the BLM movement and it’s not right. 

Defending your property is one thing, but you can’t demonize a whole color of people. And you can’t let keyboard warriors get to you when reading comments defending the looters and calling us chinks. Right now, you kinda have to just let it go and try to move on. It sucks, I know. I don’t want to feed into the stereotype that Asians are passive but right now it’s not about us. We can’t right racism with racism.

Remember that one person or group of people doesn’t represent a whole race/gender/color of people. I know it hurts to see a member of the AA community getting harassed or ridiculed on social media, but right now it’s not the time for our fight. Right now, we have to be there and support our friends and family in the BLM movement. 

I know there’s a problem in Asian culture where we view dark-skinned people (black or just darker-skinned in general) as lower-class people. And it’s something we need to work on as a community if we want to succeed in today’s society. I know people have weaponized the model minority myth to hurt us as AA but we can’t keep retaliating with our own racial biases and continue to be part of the problem. We need to be part of the solution.

Again, right now, it’s not about us. So please, just be kind and respect one another because things are probably going to get uglier from here. We can’t expect a peaceful solution between people of color if we keep contributing to the problem. We AA are no better than any other race. We’re all Americans at the end of this and cannot continue to hold onto these racial prejudices or envious feelings of the BLM movement if we want to build a better future in America. 

I’m probably going to get shit for this post from both sides, so whatever. I’ll just spam a bunch of emojis because I really don’t want to debate this. I just want violence and hate between people of color to stop.


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The Novela Coronavirus: How COVID-19 exposed racial prejudice against Asian people

Ye Yellow Fever is coming from the East, rare.

***NOTE: This is meant as a humor piece with some facts, contains strong language.***

It’s only been a few months in the year 2020, but (!) there’s probably a strong argument that this year has sucked lots and lots of balls. So far, the world lost basketball legend Kobe Bryant, Brexit finally went down in January (after years of teasing to pull out like the British Lads they are), and, currently, America is running out of toilet paper. Coronavirus fever has finally hit the States, and it’s causing a flurry of commotion at grocery stores across the nation- resulting in robberies and physical clashing of every Chad and Karen known to man. Are these toilet paper hoarders crazy? Yeah, they probably are. But, who knows? These people might actually need the ultra-softness of Charmin’s mega roll after their assholes explode from eating a Costco worth of ramen noodles and canned beans.

So, why is this Coronavirus making people so crazy? According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, COVID-19, or its street name: Novel Coronavirus, is causing such a ruckus because there currently isn’t a cure, and it’s hard to contain. Seems more like a Novela Virus with all the drama it’s causing. Compared to its cousin Influenza, which only kills less than 1% of those infected, COVID-19 has already killed about 11%. This virus hops onto the next person faster than a contestant on The Bachelor

World leaders have taken drastic action by placing their citizens in a state of quarantine. The economy has also taken a nosedive, causing massive lay-offs. With major music festivals like Ultra and Coachella being canceled or postponed, even Instagram THOTs are feeling the burn of unemployment. And there ain’t no cream for that.

Yes, things are pretty fucking crazy right now. 

But, do you know what’s spreading faster than a Bachelorette’s legs on ABC? I mean, Coronavirus? Racism! Aside from having to worry about getting a virus that makes you cough blood and post memes all day because of having to “Shelter in Place,” people of Asian descent now have to, also, worry about xenophobia and discrimination from idiots who thinks that every John Chinaman is spewing out COVID-19 like NBA star Rudy Gobert at a press conference

Mmm, touch dem mics

Nothing says quarantine like a classic mic stroking, eh? 

France was perhaps the first country out of China to warn its citizens of COVID-19. But for one local newspaper, Le Courier Picard, the print decided to go full Fox News when they labeled the crisis “Alerte Jaune” or, in English, “Yellow Peril.” 

You might ask, “Why is this color-metaphor racist?” Well, my non-yellow friends, it’s because this phrase was used in the early 1900s as propaganda against people of the East. So, is it racist? Maybe we should ask the Chinese woman wearing a protective mask in the picture the print decided to use for their piece. She must be thrilled to be the face of French Coronavirus propaganda. Awkward.

Though the newspaper apologized for their mislabeling and bastardization of Chinese people, the damage was already done. On Twitter, the hashtag  #JeNeSuisPasUnVirus, which translates to “I’m not a virus,” started to flood social media as a means to raise awareness of the rising discrimination against French Asian citizens. I think this whole story is nuts; Asian people in France, actually existing, like in Rush Hour 3, nuts!

As Coronavirus fever made its way to Harry Potter world, stories of Asian students getting their asses beat like it’s the 1840’s were starting to make headlines. One of the first cases involved a Singapore man named Mok on the streets of Oxford. While being assaulted, Mok heard one of the four assailants say, “I don’t want your Coronavirus in my country”. A statement that probably doesn’t sound good in any context. And a month later, four Chinese students wearing medical face masks were harassed at Vincent’s Walk in Southampton. With immigration playing a key role for Brexit, Asian people getting their asses beat was inevitable. I guess having free education doesn’t stop assholes from being arsehole.

I think the sign and hat isn't bad. But that girl in the back, too far, bro.

I think the sign and hat aren’t bad. But that girl in the back, too far, bro.

Even in the land where weed and hookers are legal, the Netherlands, there are cases of racial discrimination. A Korean woman was almost assaulted by two men while riding her bike, Meghan Rajagopalan reports on BuzzFeed News. The victim, Jiye Seong-Yu, said she heard one of the men yell out “Chinese” as he swung. Rajagopalan’s piece also mentions a Korean American woman living in Amsterdam who was harassed online. The woman was called a “Chinese bitch” on Facebook and received other hateful comments. 

And the COVID-19 World Tour doesn’t stop there. America may be late to the party, but we are currently putting all the other country’s racist games to shame. 

Starting from the East Coast in NYC, a woman named Min, who goes by @princessmin_c on Twitter, said that a woman sitting across from her moved when she coughed. Min said the woman also covered her face before she decided to play a game of Runawayfromtheasian. 

In San Fernando Valley, a 16-year-old Asian kid was beaten and sent to the hospital because his schoolmates thought he had the Coronavirus. A couple of miles away, a man was yelling at an Asian woman about how all the “Chinese” are dirty on the Los Angeles Metro. The kicker is that the woman isn’t even Chinese. I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: a man of color assuming the woman is Chinese or that he believes this woman just flew in from Cronavirusville, China, only to ride in the elegant carriage of the LA Metro?

Mind you, these are just a few accounts from an overabundance of many. Every time I’m on NextShark, I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed with all the new stories flooding in, gangbanging my faith in humanity. 

Even esteemed news sources like CNN and NPR are chiming in, telling people to not do something that I didn’t think needed to be said. It’s gotten to the point where California’s Governor, Gavin Newsom, had to address the recent rise in racial prejudice against Asian people in a press conference.

When talking about big media covering the Coronavirus, we, of course, have to talk about the elephant in the room: Fox News.

On an episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, the comedian jests about how one Fox News correspondent really felt about China. (It’s at the 16-minute mark of the episode/link). Spoiler Alert: Donald Luskin doesn’t think they are civilized people. Though, it’s not surprising with similar past segments on FOX taking the piss out of Asian people who (literally) can’t defend themselves. Just between you and me, everyone at Fox kinda looks like your average neighborhood racist that hates the “Chine-knees” but still jerks-off to oriental porn when the wife’s at spin class.

Haters gonna hate. During these trying times, people would usually look to their leaders for pluralism and guidance. But, this is “Trump’s America” we’re talking about. 

Between the tariffs and political ass-kissing, President Trump has a complicated relationship with China. Unlike with Russia, where the leader is literally Putin it in his mouth, Trump’s relationship with Jinping is more of a

Yeah, he said it.

will-they-or-won’t-they kind of situation.

However, the president of the United States made his feelings pretty clear when referring to COVID-19 as the “Chinese Virus” in a tweet. An unfortunate choice of words would probably be a gross understatement. Of course, Trump being Trump didn’t stop his White House staff from using the term “Kung-Flu” at a press dinner. CBS News correspondent Weijia Jiang had the honor of being the “Asian person in the room” for the staff to throw down their new slang. The amount of professionalism here is equivalent to, “If I say it to my Asian friend, then it must be ok.” 

Just like the time your white friend asked your black friend if it’s ok to use the “N-word” if he uses a soft “a” and not the “er,” it’s a hard fuckin’ no! Especially at an official White House event filled with reporters, you fucking idiots.  

You might be thinking, “The president and these officials aren’t being PC, who cares?”

I guess it would be ok . . . if we were in our 20’s and at a fucking frathouse. But these are public officials who are held to a higher standard! 

Just because Trump can’t use big words, we can’t have the president of the US demonizing an entire race by personifying a virus as Chinese. There are already stupid people who can’t tell the difference between Chinese people from China and Asian people from other countries . . . in Asia . . . that isn’t China. I know this isn’t exactly rocket science, but sometimes I feel like it is. 

Honestly, I can keep going on about shit people doing shit things, but let’s start wrapping this up. I know I’ve given a lot of examples, but, like a child asking for a toy a hundred times, I feel like I have to annoy you till you feel pissed off to do something about it. 

I actually got a taste of this Coronaracism last month when I was called a DIRTY CHINESE, CORONAVIRUS, and a ZIPPERHEAD. This happened in the locker room at the 24 Hour Fitness in Koreatown by a Latino guy. In fucking Koreatown! Full of Asians, I know, the balls on this guy. 

Truth be told, I was taken by surprise. This was one of those “I hear about it online, but it never happens to me” kinda deal. So, I did what any millennial would do: write about it on Facebook. 

I was actually surprised by how many people responded to my post with support. I was even more surprised how some of my non-Asian friends were unaware of the current Yellow State of Affairs. Though I shouldn’t have been surprised since racism isn’t new. 

But why now? Why is it currently “ok” for stupid people to Trojan Horse their chauvinistic feelings against Asian people during Coronapocalypes? 

Anna Russell tries to answer this question in her piece for The New Yorker, “The Rise of Coronavirus Hate Crimes.” Her article points out that dumbasses feel it’s ok to attack Asian people because “lots of people agree” with the attacker’s emotions. In millennials words, because it’s fucking trending. I’m just paraphrasing here. 

A lot of people’s lives have been affected by this virus, and some of those people feel the need to blame someone. And it’s not gratifying blaming a virus because a clump of RNA can’t react to someone’s grievance (unless it’s the anime Cells at Work). 

So what’s the next best thing? It’s good ole fashion racism. The situation has gotten so bad in America that some Chinese Americans now fear for their lives. Just look at these testimonials in The New York Times from people who have been attacked

You’re probably wondering, how can we stop this intolerance against Asian people? Well, it’s easy, really. But the fact that I even have to say it is absurd; DON’T BE A FUCKING RACIST! 

What if you’re in a situation where an Asian person is being bullied, and you’re not the one being racist? Well, Josephine Harvey tells us precisely what to do in her piece for the HuffPost. If you see something, say something. 

It could be as simple as saying, “Hey! Not cool, bro.” If you’re more of an action person, then you can just stand next to the victim. Just a sense of solidarity goes a long way. If bystanders show support for the victim, then the perpetrator might realize it’s not normal to be a racist dick. Be like this guy standing up for his fellow American citizen on an NYC train. 

And now reporting Coronavirus-related attacks is even easier with this new website by Asian American and Pacific Islander groups. According to NBC News, the information collected will be used by nonprofit groups for education and media campaigns telling people to, you know, not be a racist.

For all you racist out there, all I’m asking for is just some basic things: read a map and figure out the difference between a Chinese person and another Asian person; stop assuming every Asian person has the Coronavirus because we probably all have it by now; maybe educate yourself about the virus and how it isn’t in every Asian-looking person’s DNA (you uneducated swine); and, most importantly, you should stop punching Asian people in angry mobs then running away (you fucking coward). If you think an Asian person has the Cough of Death and you run towards ‘em, then you definitely deserved to be coughed on. Unless you’re Stretch Armstrong, punching someone isn’t exactly social distancing.  

Right now, the Coronavirus isn’t just a Chinese problem; it’s a global epidemic. Even if you think this corona thing is a hoax, this problem will affect your life, whether you like it or not. The circumstances have changed, and we need to band together if we’re going to survive. I know being in quarantine is driving you mad, and you’re probably playing around with the idea of starting an Only Fans/Patreon, but we gotta stop stabbing Asian people at grocery stores. If we can’t do that, then at the very least, stop buying more than one mega roll of toilet paper. Because if people run out of to-go napkins to wipe their butts with, then we’re going to have a pinkeye epidemic next. 

I guess it’s time for those Micky Dz napkins.

 


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Dear Andrew, My Friend Who Was Taken From Us Too Soon

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(Note: This is not a comedy piece. My friend Andrew, who was a genuine great person, was taken away from us too soon. He did not drink, do drugs, or have a hateful cell in his body. It’s a shame what happened. An accident. So be safe out there folks, and cherish the people around you. You never know what will happen. This is an open letter to the man who made me want to not only become a better Asian, but a better person of the world. I’m a man who does not know how to really handle feelings and writing is the only way I know how. Every time I try to talk to someone about Andrew, I can’t help but to fight off tears and sorrow. So I don’t speak at all. Instead, I write.)

Dear Andrew,

I really don’t know how to start this, but I’m sure not many people do. I’m going to miss you, man. You were an inspiration to my life. I remember the first time I saw you at the gym, at the Village Fitness Center. I thought to myself, “Man, who is this buff ass Asian guy killin’ it here. He must be on riods.” I was so awed by your strength that I never approached you. You also had his glare on your face, fueled by determination, which I mistook as being unkind, that scared me. Until that one day I mustered up the courage to ask you how to workout the back of my shoulders. Which you then told me to lay sideways on the bench so I can do a lateral in an upward motion. This was one of the moments that made me realize that you were not an angry d-bad gym Asian, but a kind man who was willing to offer advice. Luck had it that you were also roommates with my friend from my high school.

I remember the day Garret invited me to his room to eat the Subway sandwiches that we had bought. You and your brother arrived after we did. I don’t remember if this was during your brothers transition into the marines or right before. But I do remember me eating Subway Club and you having a Spicey Italian. It was then that you educated me on how to save money by microwaving your sandwich so you did not have to pay the extra 50 cent charge for toasting. This was the spark of our friendship that lead to many nerdy pho conversations that was sprinkled with talks of girls, sour candy induced car rides, and movies.

Even though some of our hang outs were reduced since you met Kaila, I did not mind. Despite me giving you a hard time about it, I was only joking. I actually remembered the first time I met her. It was after EDC 2013. Or 2012, I forget sometimes. But you took me to grab some pho in Daly City as I blabbered on about my misadventures and my sinful activities. I probably should have held some of my enthusiasm back, seeing how that was the first time your future wife was meeting me. But I couldn’t, I was too excited and had to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you about how I fell in love in a magical wonderland, and I could tell that day that you too had also fell in love back in reality. After many more dinner dates where I was third-wheeling it, I could tell that soon you were going to marry her. Now when I look back at it, I should have taken your invitations to go see all those scary movies that you wanted to see. But like your courage and muscle definition, I did not have the will to see movies that potentially scared the crap out of me. Instead, I limited our media pleasures to nerdy and action stuff. And hard rock music in your car.

Thanks for all of those rides, BTW. Thanks for driving me home after those nights of pho, getting me home safely after a night of drinking, and even driving Natalie home the first time you met her, despite the fact that she got super intoxicated, was uncooperative, and threw away all of our sour candy. Thanks man.

I’m not going to lie to myself and say that we were the best of friends, but I hope that you considered me to be a dear friend, like I did. In fact, I will admit that I admire you. Whenever I saw you, you gave me hope for humanity that they are people like you out there in this cruel, messed up world. You also gave me faith in myself that I can become a better person. In my eyes, you stood on this pedestal that is only shared with a select few of amazing people. You can say that I was a little jealous of you and your life: you were a great man who was in phenomenal shape, a loving wife, a great family that loved and supported you through your journey of adulthood, and you’ve built a solid group of friends that followed you as you lead them to the path of fitness and laughter, while stopping to grab your occasional bowls of pho, of course.

You were taken too soon my friend. An amazing man like you with a heart of gold that inspires all is what this world needs and we will be feeling that absent with you gone. Now, every time I have a bowl of pho at Kevin’s Noodles House (Irving or in Daly City) or maintain the proper form while I deadlift and clean, I will remember you and how you were there for me during those past moments. Even though you left me for Kaila, I don’t mind because she is an amazing woman and was your perfect match. I know that I could have made this post shorter, but I couldn’t. I could actually make this longer, but I’m not going to bore you with my blabbering, even though I could tell that you wanted me to shutup at times during pho. I just needed you to know how much of an amazing person you were. To tell the truth, you are still influencing my life. You’re the best human being I know, I aspire to be half the man you were.

I know you’re training Jesus up there, so go easy on him. See you on the other side, Andrew.


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Merry Christmas from Koko and Airec and Deadpool

By Airec Sype.

Howdy y’all. It’s been some time since we both have posted on our blog but here we are today. We both have been working on various different projects and still have been writing on different platforms. So it’s sad that we have been neglecting our baby. I (Sype.) am posting on this site because my credit card that was funding the payment for A Dark Minded Giggle expired and it was gonna cost me about 100 bucks to buy back the domain name . . . yeah, f*ck that. So I’m using this.

Let me start off with MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Whereas most families are spending their Xmas together, my dysfunctional but functional Asian family is spending it not together (I’m sure there is a better word for that). Any who, I’m sure we will all be together right before I leave.

Some khao poon and sticky rice with chicken and Thai green chili lime sauce

Some khao poon and sticky rice with chicken and Thai green chili lime sauce

But what a better way to start off the freezing Xmas morning with some Forrest Gump, Asian food and a NEW DEADPOOL TRAILER!!! After being fed up with all the new X-Men B.S. movies that don’t get anything right (forever team Cyclops), this trailer gives me high hopes. Plus it comes out two days after my birthday, good ole 27.

“I don’t have time for your X-Men bullsh*t, Colossus.” – Deadpool

For those of you who doesn’t know, Deadpool -real name Wade Wilson, a play on . . . you know who from DC- is a fictional character from the Marvel Universe. He’s not a hero but more like an anti-hero who kills!!! Google it if it doesn’t make any sense. Well any who, in the upcoming movie, actor Ryan Reynolds will be playing the merc with the mouth. I’ve been waiting for this movie since they f*cked up his character in the lame Wolverine prequels.

But until the movie comes out, I guess I’ll just have to keep replaying the extended trailer and re-watching those little teaser clips of Reynolds mouthing away. Or this awesome one with Deadpool’s children handling skills.

Till next time and happy holidays from the both of us, Koko and Airec

this was a long ass time ago btw

this was a long ass time ago btw


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A Restaurant For Singles in Korea

 

By Airec Sype.

FUN Korean TV shared a hilarious clip of single people dinning in a restaurant in, well, KOREA!!! The restaurant  advertises for single people to dine in and places them in a box like desk that reminds me of taking a test in grade school. Well, they’re Asians, so that environment shouldn’t be too foreign to them. Anyways, after the guest receives their meals, a blinker flashes, asking the guest if they would like to dine with another. If the both of the singles clicks “Yes”, then the wall in front of them will spontaneously drop and it will no longer be a dinner for one.

There’s a lot of funny facial reactions to this. The best one is when one surprise couple were two men. They were probably confused at why they were paired up together. Hilarity does occur, and it seems as some do hit it off . . . or at least they try. Watch the video and find out for yourself!

FUN Korean TV is a site that shares trending videos from Korea. “Play with love”, is their tagline. Their description states:

Fun Korean TV is a Unique platform of Korean funny video clips in the Facebook for International English Users.

I hope to see more stuff from them. And YAY! for Koreans to help us single people out!

Till next time, and relationships are for quitters, Sype.


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Bad Asian Mom Chooses Car Over Son

By Airec Sype.

Long story short, a mother in Yiwu, China, refused to let firefighters save her trapped child by breaking the window of her BMW and wished to wait for a locksmith. She basically decided that her material object was more important than her son. And I doubt that it was because she didn’t have car insurance.

Damn, stuff like this really pisses me off. Of all the moments where I wished a negative story wasn’t about an Asian person, this is probably in the top 5. This kind of reassures that stereotype that Asians, particularly women, are materialistic. I’m not saying all Asians are like that, but this c*nt really is.

My parents used physically discipline on me when I was growing up. However it was only used when I was doing something stupid, never was there an incident where my father or mother came home after a night of drinking and beat me. I understand that their form of discipline was one borrowed from their old country; they didn’t know of any other structure of discipline. However there is no exception in this case, this lady wanted to make sure her posh BMW stayed unharmed while her child was dying in a car that was being baked by scorching heat; now that is some sh*t that is unforgivable.

I first found this story on Uproxx and did a little more research on a Yahoo! news page. So needless to say, many Internet outlets have picked up on this story. Not to mention the public shaming by random people through social media, like Twitter and other blogs.

Moral of the story is don’t leave your kid in a car during high temperatures. And if your child is locked in a car during a heat wave then smash that window to save YOUR OFFSPRING! Don’t be a bad Asian; you’re suppose to be smarter than that. SMH!

I know this site is called #SorryAsianParents, but this lady needs one for #BadAsianParents. I feel sorry for this kid who has to grow up knowing that his life isn’t worth a window on a BMW. If only China had affordable car insurance like GEICO.


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Bros v. Pros: The Mens Guide to EDC While Trying Not To Be a Douchebag

Here is a piece I did 2 years ago on EDC. Check it out and have a few laughs! Don’t take it too seriously.

Inside the Dark Minds of Koko and Airec

I know not really, but during festival season this becomes more and more true I know not really, but during festival season this becomes more and more true

By: Sype.

With only just a few days till the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas, I think it’s time for me to provide some BROs v. PROs tips from my six years of attendance (embarking on my 7th year down the rabbit hole this year). This will be a continuation of my partner, Koko’s, blog post, “Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC 2014.” So make sure you check her post out as well, she has a bit more information for the ladies than I do.

Before I continue on with this long laundry list of BROs vs PROs do’s and don’ts, I would like to say a DISCLAIMER!: I am not an expert in any field, except for the field of disappointing my Asian parents (which is why I created the hashtag…

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Let Us Celebrate 61 Years of Jackie Chan: My first Asian Hero

(Jaaaackkiieee gots jokes as he post a hipsterized pic of himself on Facebook)

By Airec Sype.

Action comedian actor director singer Jack-of-all-trades Jackie Chan celebrated his 61st birthday earlier this month. So I have to mention it; how can I have a blog that celebrates my Asian American weirdness without talking about one of my heroes JACKIE CHAN!!!

Growing up in America, there were not a lot of Asian heroes for this cute little Asian baby, who was lucky enough to be born in this great nation (MURRICA!), to look up to. Most of the heroes I (or we) had were from the relic VHS tapes that translated kung-fu movies onto giant heavy television boxes.

When I talk to some Asians and Asian-Americans about Jackie Chan, I get the conciseness that you either like him or hate him. Some Asians dislike Jackie Chan (I know this is going to get annoying but it doesn’t feel right just using his last name; there is more power and status if I just keep saying Jackie Chan) because they don’t see him as a martial artist despite him having training in multiple of different styles. But then they’re Asians, like I, who loves this man.

The legacy of Jackie Chan is his ability to combine comedy and action. There is a sense of authenticity to his work because he does almost all of his stunts himself. Uproxx has compiled a list of his notable injuries. This is because he was originally a stunt man in old martial arts films. In fact, he got hit in the face by Bruce Lee himself in a failed attempt of a sneak attack.

However, behind all the action and laughter, Jackie Chan also has a sensitive side. During a press-conference, Jackie Chan reveals how he wants to do a movie about love. Knowing that this might not be the Jackie Chan we all know, he said, “I love to produce movie which I love where I can speak what I want to speak and do what I want to do. It is not all about making money.”

Getting hit in the face by Lee and breaking almost every bone in his body all in the effort of entertaining us, that is the man behind the legend. My favorite movie will probably be Legend of the Drunken Master. That movie has the perfect combination of comedy, action and Asian boys with daddy problems . . . Oh did I forget to mention that this man can SING!!!

Oh yeah, this man got it all.

Let’s go back to this idea of Asian or Asian American heroes. Growing up there really wasn’t much for us to look up to besides these kung-fu flying, fist punching, ass-kicking action heroes. Growing up in the 90’s, the idea of an Asian American in the mainstream media was not feasible.

I’m not saying that there wasn’t any Asian heroes when I was growing up, I just didn’t know about them nor did I have the mature mental capacity to appreciate them (not saying I’m mature, I still act like a frat-boy at times). I was introduced to Yo-Yo Ma while watching an episode of PBS Arthur, but I didn’t really know who that was. There was obviously Michelle Kwan who can literally fly on ice, but I didn’t like ice skating as a kid.

Growing up, I wanted an Asian Arnold, or an Asian James Bond. These were men that I could look up to! I didn’t want the Asian henchmen in the Rambo films who gets gunned down by starving POW to be my heroes. Fu*K those guys, they were WEAK! Or I wanted a swavey Asian guy who can come into a room and swoop the girl, not the creepy four eyed Japanese pervert that the white hero was saving her from.

That is one of the things I was envious of as a kid, these white little boys had someone they could look up to; they were able to picture themselves as the hero and mainstream media reenforced that dream. So if I followed what the 90’s told me, I was bound to be a fu*king four-eyed henchmen who is perving on white woman while getting my ass-kicked by some white guy or just some nerdy sidekick who does all the math homework and robot stuff.

Blacks and Latinos were also lucky. Of course black kids had . . . well they had the whole NBA and hip-hop industry in the 90s to look up to . . . and Malcolm X and MLK. I’m not a complete racist here. And Latinos had Oscar Dela Hoya and Ricky Martin (before he came out). But there I was, thinking that my future can do no better than Mr. Miyagi. And he wasn’t even the main hero of the Karate Kid! THE KARATE KID WASN’T EVEN ASIAN! Thankfully Community fixed that.

I guess that’s why when Al from City Guys first appeared, I hung onto that character. He was one of the first Asian looking males on TV that I saw swooping girls off their feet. The same feeling of inspiration arose when I first saw John Cho in American Pie. Despite their small roles in the show or movies, their presence on the show gave me a light of hope that an Asian American male like me could one day exist in a mainstream American world where my role isn’t the nerdy foreign exchange student . . . and that I too can get cute white girls (but that’s not the point of this conversation.)

Of course now when I look at the Asian American, or just Asian in general, heroes of today, I can think of Jerry Yang, the creator of Yahoo!, or Margret Cho, or the Chinese who left their homeland and built the railroads/gold mines. I can think of people like that who risked their lives or did amazing feats instead of solely relying on action stars like Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa or any other yellow-skinned karate master. But lets not forget those two, they’re pretty badass. Oh, and that Asian kid from 21 and over, his chill-to-pull ratio was 5:5.

That is probably why when shows like Selfie, which has an Asian American male as a lead actor, gets cancelled I feel a little hurt inside. Or actions like replacing the Asian characters in movies like 21 and Dragonball: Evolution hurts the young Asian American community. I feel for the lost of an easy hero for young Asian boys to look up to, to picture themselves as a possible version of their future. Some say that the media is evil, but it was the quickest way for young minority boys like I to picture themselves in the American world. School and books and Asian doctors, pff. That didn’t matter growing up in the rough side of Visalia. Movies was our salvation for a potential better life. In a way, that sense of living vicariously through a fictional character allowed us to be hopeful of becoming a real American. It’s what the media told us.

Despite the lack of Asian males in the media, we still have mix-martial art fighters. But sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s fighting when two Asians are going at it.

Now looking at it in hindsight, we kinda all had a hero with us growing up. I didn’t realize it until I reached college and was able to think like an “adult.” My father kinda is a hero. Any minority kid can call their father a hero, a man who risk his life leaving his old country for a better life for his family, a man who slaves away at work so his children can have an American life/education. Well unless your father was a bastard, then this doesn’t apply to you.

Sure my dad was an SOB at times, but he was there for me and had my back. He didn’t know kung-fu or built robots, but he got his yellow ass over here and fertilized me on the great soil of America so that I didn’t have to make shoes for Nike.

I guess heroes are everywhere, it just took me a little while to realize it. If you’re Asian American, try to be a hero for the kids of tomorrow. Oh and I love you Jackie Chan.