#SorryAsianParents

A goofy kid just trying to make sense of the world while trying to be Asian American


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Weebthusiast Ep02 The Big Three: Naruto, Bleach, and ONE PIECE

 

Hi hi, this is the second hour of our first recording. I know it took a while for me to get it out there but life happens…and I’m incredibly lazy. Gomen-nasai. But in this video, we are talking about the Big Three (Naruto, Bleach, and ONE PIECE) and how it influenced our lives and the early days of anime culture in America. We also talk about which top three characters we think are the most badass. Welp, check it out and let us know whatcha think!


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Stage Name Comedy #02: Mental Health, Substance Abuse, and 3*tt Stuff

This is a quick video, I guess 40 min is quick, between Seth and I. The tone is a bit more serious than we intended due to the subject matter. We start off the convo with male anal foreplay and end it with a bright note about mental disorders and substance abuse. I want to remind everyone we’re not doctors so we may get some details wrong and we’re not giving anyone advice about anything. We are just talking about our experiences with alcohol, depression, social pressure on how to handle our emotions as a “man” and how I’ve experienced difficulty coming to terms with my *shudders in my computer chair* feelings as an Asian American male. I also apologize for my pj’s and shitty Internet connection.

Also, why does YouTube new uploading program kinda suck?


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Weebthusiast! Trying Out an Anime Podcast

So….I tried to combine my love of anime and videogames with my natural ability to annoy someone with words. My friends and I are stuck in quarantine so we created a vidcast to share our experiences with anime. I know the video is long, but hopefully, the edits are somewhat funny. I hope.

 

Hey everyone, we are the Weebthusiast! Welcome to our channel and enjoy your stay!

In today’s video: Airec, Erin, Scott, and Justice discuss our humble beginnings into the wonderful world of anime. We give our origin stories to how it all began, stay tuned, and check the vid to find out! Scott kicks off the chat with Wicked City (released 1987) and his first experience with more adult animation. And the boys finish the video with a discussion on the Kenshin series with visceral details from Rurouni Kenshin and the Samurai X OVA’s.

Stick around and don’t forget to go full super Saiyan and Kamehameha that like and subscribe button! 


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Right Now, It’s About Supporting The BLM Movement

 

***This is mainly addressed to my Asian American community and specifically Southeast Asians because I know how trigger happy we are. So if you don’t want to read something I’m addressing to the Asian American community then I recommend you skip this because it might upset you a little bit.*** 

Hi hi. I just wanted to respond to something I’ve been seeing amongst my Asian American community. It’s an awkward time to post this and I don’t want to make it about us, but this mindset of “US Asian vs THEM other people of color” has to be addressed. 

I understand that some of y’all are feeling frustrated about the current crimes between people of color and the looting of AA businesses. When you’re angry, it’s easy to blur the lines between protesting and rioting/looting. (I also think there’s a conspiracy between white supremacists and looters teaming up to cause the riots but that’s beside the point.) 

I get it. You (we) have every right to be angry at the violence done onto AA and the destruction of private property because some of those moms and pops don’t have insurance. (We can’t all be Rooftop Koreans.) Because of this, I’ve seen a lot of AA saying racist stuff on social media or taking their anger out on the BLM movement and it’s not right. 

Defending your property is one thing, but you can’t demonize a whole color of people. And you can’t let keyboard warriors get to you when reading comments defending the looters and calling us chinks. Right now, you kinda have to just let it go and try to move on. It sucks, I know. I don’t want to feed into the stereotype that Asians are passive but right now it’s not about us. We can’t right racism with racism.

Remember that one person or group of people doesn’t represent a whole race/gender/color of people. I know it hurts to see a member of the AA community getting harassed or ridiculed on social media, but right now it’s not the time for our fight. Right now, we have to be there and support our friends and family in the BLM movement. 

I know there’s a problem in Asian culture where we view dark-skinned people (black or just darker-skinned in general) as lower-class people. And it’s something we need to work on as a community if we want to succeed in today’s society. I know people have weaponized the model minority myth to hurt us as AA but we can’t keep retaliating with our own racial biases and continue to be part of the problem. We need to be part of the solution.

Again, right now, it’s not about us. So please, just be kind and respect one another because things are probably going to get uglier from here. We can’t expect a peaceful solution between people of color if we keep contributing to the problem. We AA are no better than any other race. We’re all Americans at the end of this and cannot continue to hold onto these racial prejudices or envious feelings of the BLM movement if we want to build a better future in America. 

I’m probably going to get shit for this post from both sides, so whatever. I’ll just spam a bunch of emojis because I really don’t want to debate this. I just want violence and hate between people of color to stop.


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Stage Name Comedy Ep.00

So my buddy, Seth Austin, and I started a YouTube channel for vidcasting. It’s called Stage Name Comedy. We’re just some wannabe entertainers with our friends giving our unqualified opinions on current events or whatever else we find funny. This was just a mic check and testing out our format. The next recording I’m deff going to have better equipment.

Everything here is just for laughs and I’ll prob turn my lengthy blog post into video as well. We’re probably gonna make some enemies but I guess enjoy?

 

Well, this is two average joes giving our first unqualified opinion on interracial marriages, different levels of Karens, what two unemployed dreamers in La La Land have been doing, and the economy reopening up. Everything is meant to be jokes and fun so sorry if we offend, we did not mean


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Remote Learning Isn’t Working Karen!

***Names have been changed with respect to my friends.***

In the recent wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, American educators are scrambling to figure out a new normal as campuses prepare to reopen in August. In a virtual meeting, California State Superintendent of Public Instruction Tony Thurmond said it will be up to school districts to continue online instruction or return to in-person classes, or perhaps a combination of both. Though, if educators are going to continue with remote learning or a hybrid, we probably have to address some of the tomfoolery caused by this “solution.”

For instance, it seems like remote learning was only really beneficial for more affluent schools/students. (And, let’s be real here, rich kids are probably going to Lori Loughlin their way to college anyways.) But for everyone else, online education kinda sucks. The only finite thing we’ve learned from this byzantine experiment to save our fragile American education system was that both teachers and students were overwhelmed by the complications exacerbated by remote learning.

“I think the world needs to see that the teachers are breaking,” Jessica Lifshitz, Northbrook, Ill, wrote. What was meant to be a solution has only been a shower of tears for this 5th-grade teacher. The shift to virtual learning has put a tremendous strain on Lifshitz’s professional and personal life. In spite of her best ability to respond to an ever-growing list of requests from administrators, parents are blaming her and her peers for their child’s lackluster performance on social media. “And then yet somehow, we are made to feel, by the world, that it is still not enough.”

Talk about kicking a horse while it’s down. Needless to say, the transition was a mess. For real, for real, the Department of Education’s hasty-remote-learning-plan was just a fluffer for pissed off parents with no real end game. Thank you, Betsy. 

“It was just so clear that our school system had no real plans for the pandemic or how to roll out virtual learning at all,” Annie Tan told The New Republic. “Not that anyone expected any of this to happen, but to have no contingency at all and then to shift the burden to educators is demeaning and demoralizing.” 

In the midst of checking up with her students and their parents, the 5th-grade teacher from Brooklyn had to quickly learn the new software while simultaneously showing her students how to use it. “So because none of us teachers had ever used Google Classroom, as we were calling up students’ parents and checking in, we were also learning the system ourselves.” Again, remote learning wasn’t a practical solution for Tan; it was just another thing to worry about. 

A vital reason why Tan’s students had a hard time doing online assignments is because some of them actually didn’t even have the essential hardware to do the online assignments. Remote learning doesn’t work, if them kids can’t do the assignments! And when Tan put in the request for devices from the DoE, she had to wait over a month for them to arrive. “It was just crazy,” she said, which is probably a gross understatement. 

One would think technology shouldn’t have been a problem, right? Compared to when I was a teen, growing up having to remember phone numbers because I didn’t have a freakin PAGER, these kids should have been loaded with tech! 

But nope!

How can this be? This is America, we’re a first world country. We should be trying to tackle first world problems like picking the right Instagram filter or what to order off Uber Eats. Despite the recent plague of TikTok videos, a surprising number of American students don’t have sufficient access to technology. (Unlike those tech-savvy Japanese kids who gots giant robots and shit!) 

James P. Steyer, CEO of Common Sense, told USA Today that roughly about 12 million low-income and rural-based kids do not have adequate access to high-speed internet and modern devices. “Now that most American school kids must learn from home because of COVID-19, it is an even bigger problem,” he said. So if you’re poor or live in the middle of nowhere, you’re probably gonna have a hard time learning remotely.

But for Lifshitz and her students, their struggle with remote learning is much more than a technology problem. “I watched as my fellow teachers began to reveal the cracks that we had all been trying so desperately trying to cover up.”  

I believe the cracks she mentioned are about the learning inequalities between affluent and at-risk students. Lifshitz doesn’t outright say it, but, like how a televangelist feels an invisible holy spirit during a Sunday broadcast, I feel it. (I’m not trying to knock religion, but I feel some sort of fire when I see those saved jumping around after being touched by a preacher.) If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch the movie Freedom Writers, or just check out the “Nice White Lady” sketch by MADtv on YouTube. Oh, and I also grew up poor and went to public school. 

But don’t just take my word for it. 

“The messy transition to remote learning in America’s K-12 education system as a result of COVID-19 pandemic has been marked by glaring disparities among schools,” Benjamin Herold wrote in Education Week. His piece reviewed a survey done by the EdWeek Research Center about inequalities within remote learning during the Coronavirus pandemic. Check it out, it has some sweet pictures of some sexy, sexy charts.   

Herold claimed “the most significant gaps between the country’s poorest and wealthiest schools” are “around access to basic technology and live remote instruction.” Basically, if you or your school have money, then you’re going to have a better chance with remote academics than poor people. “As it’s done with the country’s health care system, economy, and social safety net, the pandemic is exposing . . . the deep inequities that have long shaped American public education.”

*Cough* Aunt Becky and the college admissions scandal *Cough* 

Herold did point out that teachers in lower-income schools were more likely to contact their students and have a more creative curriculum. Like Dave Chapelle said, you better learn how to dance or something. So, good luck?

To be honest, I didn’t even think about how teachers felt during this pandemic until I came across Lifshitz’s blog. Everyone whom I’ve talked to assume that teachers have it good right now with remote learning since they are employed and working from home. But after speaking with my friend about her online teaching experience, I learned that it was quite the opposite.

“Yeah, it’s insane,” NorCal told me. “This huge equity problem has always been there, but this time it’s like, IDK, shooting at it point-blank.” So despite being in different states, these three teachers are having the same problems with remote learning. “It’s going to take years for us to recover.”

It’s a tale as old as time: poor kids learn bad, school hard. Growing up, the pressure to do well in school sometimes psyche me out. So it’s not surprising that these students, who are having a hard time with remote learning, are skipping online instructions.

According to a poll of 849 teenagers by Common Sense Media, a whopping 4 out of 10 students said they didn’t even bother with remote learning. Ditching class isn’t something new, but with modern problems, students are using modern solutions. 

“The absence rate appears particularly high in schools with many low-income students, whose access to home computers and internet connections can be spotty,” Dana Goldstein, Adam Popescu, and Nikole Hannah-Jones wrote in The New York Times. “Some teachers report that fewer than half of their students are regularly participating.” Researchers fear some students might be forced to repeat a grade or be pushed to the next degree prematurely if they do not participate with remote learning. 

Yeah, I screenshot this. I stand by what I did.

Took me 6 years to graduate . . . and yes, I ripped this off the Internet since I couldn’t afford to pay for the picture at the time . . . and yes, I know that’s a stupid face

Though attendance might not be enough if students are distracted during an online lecture. “You just can’t teach students who have their mics and screens off,” NorCal said. Remote learning just becomes the Judge Judy students put on in the background just to fulfill an attendance requirement. The lack of mental focus can affect a student’s motivation to learn and complete assignments. 

“I have 90 students; from each class, about 3-4 don’t look at the weekly overview of assignments that have the directions and resources like videos, etc. But you can tell that more don’t watch the videos from the type of things they ask.”

“The videos are 5 minutes and take me all day to make. It’s just a lot of f**king work, and I’m going insane,” NorCal said. Teachers put in a lot of hard work to ensure students have the right tools to learn remotely. So when a student doesn’t even attempt to use the materials created, it can affect a teachers’ motivation. “And I don’t even get the reward of seeing my students.” 

“They would be like ‘I’m struggling with this,’ and I would ask them if they watched the video,” NorCal said. “Typically, they would say no, and then I would tell them to watch the video and then get back to me. After that, they would magically do the assignment.”

 “They have an hour of work. If it looks like the students tried, then awesome. Done. It depends on the age.” NorCal said that some of her students ask questions as a means of encouragement, a little nudge, to get started on assignments. “Kids are dependent on teachers, yes. I get a lot of confirmation questions where they ‘ask’ questions like that. And I’m happy to be like ‘Yes, that’s right.'” This human relationship between a teacher and student isn’t as accessible with remote learning.

Another friend of mine, Cali, also believes remote learning is detrimental to a student’s motivation. “It makes motivating students to maintain their work ethic from a distance difficult,” he said. “I’d love to be able to interact with my students, but because of privacy laws, our district can only allow one-way communication (i.e., post a video to Google Classroom).”

According to the EdWeek survey, the social aspect of schooling is beneficial and can even help kids be more mentally present. “For many children, under many circumstances, the chance to talk with a teacher and see friends and receive personal support for social-emotional concerns remains fundamental to what school is all about,” Herold wrote. Seeing your friends on a computer screen or emailing your teacher might emulate that feeling but will always fall short. 

“I do miss being in school,” Kayden, a student, told me. “Having someone teaching you is easier than randomly doing it at home. Plus, I can’t see all those loud people that annoy me but are still my friends.”

Students in the Common Sense poll said they have a hard time focusing on school because they are worried about the coronavirus pandemic. 4 out of 5 teens said they have been closely following the news. More than 60% said they are afraid of contracting the virus or someone in their family will be exposed to it (which might affect their family’s income). 

Unsurprising, at-risk students or teenagers of color who took the poll said they are more likely to be worried about the pandemic. I understand if the last thing you want to do, when you’re a hormonal imbalance teenager feeling “more lonely than usual,” are some online classes and just want to post sad kitty memes. I do it all the time.

An Insider piece slyly suggested that schools should actually abandon the idea of remote learning since it may cause unwanted stress. “Many parents say they’re more concerned about the consequences of pushing their children too hard.” The author believed this pandemic could be a chance for students to relax and be kids. Schools out, baby. 

The report featured a career teacher, Christine Tyler, who is allowing her two sons to play Dungeons and Dragons with friends on Zoom. They are also learning Japanese and analyzing the stock market on their own time. Another parent, Andrea Pinkus, said that instead of fighting with her son (who has ADHD) and jeopardizing their family’s mental health, she rather skip the home school thing altogether and focus more on family time. 

These parents and teachers are just saying the hell with it. But what about the kids who can just throw their hands in the air like they just don’t care? What about the kids who don’t need to roleplay Dungeons and Dragons because their lives don’t need any more fantasy to raise the stakes since failing primary education is already stressful enough? 

Oh snaps, here’s where we can see some of that disparity of learning inequalities between at-risk and affluent students everyone’s been talking about. I’m not trying to bash these parents; I’m just trying to look at this from all POV.

Compared to the students like the ones in the Insider piece, some students don’t have the luxury of having a parent working from home or learning Japanese when they got other shit to worry about! At-risk students don’t have the privilege to opt-out of remote learning since missing school can negatively affect their academic future. 

“It’s the same story,” African-American studies professor at UC Berkeley, Janelle Scott said in the EdWeek Survey. “Districts with more resources are likely going to be able to avail themselves of higher-quality instruction, and higher-income families are going to be much better positioned to support [remote] learning than less-resourced families who don’t have the privilege of staying at home.”

Also, only 18% of private school students reported skipping class in the Common Sense poll. Correlation? Naw, probably not.

“I see that in my own classes,” NorCal said. “Little boys are especially having problems with remote learning. Most of my [absent] kids are either ESL or little boys who just can’t time manage and do the work on their own.” On the plus side, she mentioned that her ESL families tend to spend more time with each other, especially Latinx girls. “In my ESL families, they are helping out their family while trying to do school work.” This is also reflected in the Common Sense poll “They are also overwhelmed and sad,” she said of her students.

Of course, educators only know what students and parents tell them. “Just yesterday, I was helping a girl who struggles with one-on-one live teaching, and I wondered why she hadn’t finished something,” NorCal said. “And her mom called me to tell me she was crying and couldn’t meet.” Without knowing for a definite fact what a students’ home situation is like, teachers can only try to provide the tools and hope for the best. “I don’t think she’s being abused. But obviously, she can’t handle the modified work. But in the end, I don’t know.”

No matter how available teachers are for their students, parents play a critical role in making remote learning a success. Unfortunately, some parents had a hard time teaching their kids because they are unfamiliar with the material or cannot use the tech. 

“Meanwhile, distance learning requires a lot from parents,” Anna North wrote for VOX. “Who have to make sure that kids have the tools they need, are using them correctly, and then help them stay on task and complete assignments in the absence of face-to-face contact with teachers and other school staff.” She also pointed out that some lower-income families had to share tech or were limited in areas within their homes suitable for studying.

ESL parents have it rough, but some parents who can speak English aren’t even trying to teach their kids. “With the school, things didn’t work. Nothing worked!” Jerry, 44, told N.Y. Post. “They were supposed to set up online classes, but it didn’t work. We don’t know what to do.” 

“Parents, including myself, are incredibly frustrated with the district’s lack of leadership in providing our children with adequate distance learning opportunities,” Bay Area parent Shanna Abeloff told the SFGate. “We are also incredibly frustrated with Rooftop’s lack of leadership in this arena as well. Our principals have not required our teachers to provide consistent, constructive work for our kids. “

I understand that not every parent wants to feel ill-equipped to teach their kids, but there is a sense of obligation to be, you know, a parent. Jokes. My father taught me every day when he was finished with work, even though it came with a backhand threat. Also jokes. Kinda.

Cali also had a hard time communicating with parents. “I can personally message them, and do. But so few choose to communicate regularly.” Without an open forum of communication, teachers cannot help plan their students’ success if they aren’t doing the remote learning. “It’d be great if more parents actually became parents during this time.” Parents need to have the teachers back and re-enforcing what the teachers are assigning or else nothing gets done! “The reality is that the majority of students sit at home and play video games/watch tv/listen to music. I do try and encourage my students to read every day, though.”

“Basically, parents want more and more. And I feel like nothing is ever enough.” NorCal spoke of her frustration with Chads and Karens. “Basically, I don’t want to deal with parents unless I have to.” She told me how some parents can be confrontational if they believe a teacher is giving them bad news about their child. “It’s sensitive to be told that your kid is struggling.” She also warns the possibility of parents hurting their kids or shifting the blame on you. 

NorCal gave me an example of a prissy comment a parent has said: “The work is boring and not good enough to keep my kid engaged.”

None of the educators I’ve spoken to said this, but some parents can be a bag of dicks. I know it’s not their intention to take their aggression out on teachers, but damn. Take some responsibility for your kids’ education, yo. To be fair, not all parents are dicks. The majority of them are appreciative, like the ones in this BoardPanda post.

 CNN reported how some young teachers are afraid of being fired after the wake of remote learning. “Oh, for sure, that’s gonna happen,” NorCal said. “There’s not enough money now. Budget cuts are def coming everywhere.” Her job is secured next year, but after that, she doesn’t know. It was hard to hear how someone with so much passion for teaching is shafted by the current model of online education. 

“Ah, man, I’m sorry. You just made me realize I might get fired. I don’t have tenure,” NorCal couldn’t help but get emotional when she spoke of the possibility of getting fired post-Rona. “My position was supposed to go into tenure after next year. But if they do decide to let go of teachers, I will go. It’s okay! Who knows?!” 

Recently, the U.S. government had approved $31 billion in funding for public schools. But I think the problems exposed by remote learning can’t be solved by just throwing money at it, hoping it crawls back into its troll hole.

Lifshitz suggested that educators must have a difficult conversation with parents and students to better understand the situation and make better decisions. “Complex problems cannot be solved by simple rules and mandates,” she said.

Tan also believed the conversation to reopen schools should include teachers.  She said teachers were not “interviewed about how we thought remote learning should go,” but they are still the ones “rolling it out.” She is tired of how “Teachers are constantly left out of education policy and of making decisions about” on how to educate their students.

So, what have we learned about remote learning from the past few months? Teachers are crying, students are just mentally checking out because, believe it or not, they are emotionally intelligent, and parents are pissed. On top of that, people might get fired next year. Truth be told, remote learning has been nothing more than a digital band-aid the Department of Education used to reassure parents that their child will still receive their tax-paid-underfunded-public education. 

I don’t know how to fix the American Education system if remote learning is still around when school opens. But I do know that it’s not the Flex Tape solution many would hope. I could repeat what Lifshiz, Tan, NorCal, or Cali have said, but at this point, I would just be a broken record. Maybe we should pay teachers more? Whatever, I’ll just leave you with some words from NorCal, “We’re [teachers] just sad and upset; I cry almost every day.”

PS: Here’s a funny rap video to end this post on a light note.


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Reopening The Economy During The Rona: The advice of medical professionals or a fresh haircut, what’s more important?

 

***DISCLAIMER*** I want to say that before you read this thing, just take it with a grain of salt. I’m not an expert in health or economics; I’m just a guy stuck in quarantine with a lot of time. These are just my opinions and you should live your life how you want to . . . well, only if you don’t harm anyone by coughing on ’em. Man, I have so many feelings. ***DISCLAIMER***

Coronavirus. It’s still happening. State governors are trying to manage the number of new cases, flattening the curve, by implementing “social distancing” rules. Unfortunately, this controversial method has caused many citizens to lose their jobs, hurting the American economy. Boy, I would hate to be one of those “credible” news sources and government officials who publicly made comments downplaying the Rona . . . Huh? What do you mean Fox is trying to change their Coronavirus coverage history? And what? Those government officials actually profited off the Rona by selling a bunch of their stocks right before everything came crashing down?

L.O.L., almost had me there. Wait, that actually happened?

Oh, moving on, I guess.  

After a few weeks of cabin fever, some people have had enough! Across the nation, a mixed bag of the unemployed, racists, and Karens have gathered at their city halls to protest “Shelter in Place” laws to reopen the economy. Despite the warnings of many health officials (and lives lost), the protesters believe their financial well being is more important than the threat of a pandemic.

With more than 26.5 million Americans filing for unemployment insurance, it’s hard not to empathize with their economic concern. But if we were to go back to work, we have to consider what’s more important: the American economy or the potential lives that might be lost from reopening too soon? yup, priorities

Sad to say, they do have a valid argument. Then again, there are those assholes who want to reopen because they want a fucking haircut. These shallow reasons are disrespectful to medical professionals and to the lives of those this virus has affected or taken. There’s no reason to tell those who have put their lives on the line to go fuck themselves because you want to go golfing.

Putting economic fears aside, protesters often support their reopen agenda by claiming that the coronavirus has a “low death rate” when compared to the flu.

According to Live Science, this statement might be false: “Though the death rate for COVID-19 is unclear, most research suggests it is higher than that of the seasonal flu.” When compared to the 0.1% death rate of the common flu, the death rate of COVID-19 is almost 10 times more. 

“Since this disease is caused by a new virus, people do not have immunity and a vaccine may be many months away,” Lisa Lockerd Maragakis, M.D., M.P.H., senior director of infection prevention at John Hopkins wrote. In a review, she suggests how some cases of COVID-19 can be more fatal than the flu. “But at present, it [mortality rate] is thought to be higher than that of most strains of the flu.”

The National Review also reported that 34,200 Americans died from the flu in 2018-19. As of right now, the number of coronavirus deaths is well past 50k. Soooooo, yeah.

In spite of science, many radical news sources (and unfortunately the president) still preach how the “flu is deadlier than the Rona.” But hey! What do these scientists doing clinical research know? Facts aren’t important if you have the power of Christ on your side. You know what spreads faster than this “Chinese Virus”? Misinformation!

I can’t believe I have to say this: FACEBOOK IS NOT A NEWS SOURCE! It’s the cesspool of information. An alarming 62% of Americans get their news from Facebook and other social media platforms

 

While Rona Deniers echoed about “low death rates” on social media, doctors and nurses in New York were scrambling to store their “low death rates” in freezer trucks. It’s easy to forget how each tally of death used to be a living person when you’re throwing numbers around.

Dr. Colleen Smith felt how human the rising death rates in Queens can be. She said the medical staff at Elmhurst Hospital struggled without help from the federal government. She expressed her concerns about the availability of beds and the risk of medical professionals being exposed to a virus they have yet to understand. But, whatever, it’s her job and what happens in N.Y. doesn’t affect small grassroots towns. Right?

Melissa Steiner, an I.C.U. nurse in Michigan, described her first day in the pandemic as “working in a war zone.” In her video, she broke down in tears as she recounted how the overwhelmed staff had to make do with limited supplies. But since the number of cases has gone down, she shouldn’t have to worry about having another horrific 13-hour shift. Right?

Some protesters are saying that “people are going to die anyway, so we should just reopen the economy.” I’m sure Keiko Neutz’s family (a family who had to say their goodbyes through a series of video chats) would think sacrificing a few lives just so some people can have a bowling night would be ok. Right?

Muhammad Siyab Panhwar (a cardiologist in Louisiana who watched his patients die) and Calvin Sun (an emergency physician in N.Y. who is frustrated with how the federal government handled the pandemic) should be used to telling family members their loved ones died from the Rona by now. Right?

Wrong! Mother fucker! *You have to read that in a Samual L. Jackson voice*

The increasing number of angry protesters has started to interfere with many medical professional’s jobs.

“It’s unfair for the people who have to go to work, every single day, especially at the hospitals,” James Smith, an employee for Sparrow Hospital in Lansing, MI, said in a viral rant. He is frustrated because his ambulance was blocked by the protester’s cars during an emergency. “If y’all don’t take your asses home, this is what I’m mad about. Y’all are idiots. I can’t do my job.”

Photographer Alyson McClaran captured two people in Denver wearing scrubs counter-protesting the reopening protesters who were protesting the government “Shelter in Place” law with a protest of their own by blocking the road. Boy, that’s a handful to say. One of the counter-protesters told Westword that her name is Jo and is a physician assistant. In an interview with TIME, McClaran said she “[believes] they were health care workers.”  

A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride

But it seems as if in the midst of all this tension, protesters have started to harass nurses. In one of McClaran’s photos, the male counter-protester was told to “go back to China” by a woman leaning out of her truck. Real original. 

“We’re trying to do the right thing, and we don’t need to get attacked,” a nurse said in a video by NowThis Politics, “it’s not right to get attacked.” The video shows protesters shouting obscenities at nurses who are counter-protesting the reopening rallies.

 

 

“It really feels like a slap in the face to medical workers,” Alexis, a nurse from Denver, said. “I don’t want to be stuck in the house either, but that’s not the point.” It boggles my mind how some protesters would stoop so low by trying to discredit these nurses who are on a suicide mission to protect their ungrateful asses.

“And they are saying to open P.A., with no testing, it’s like they, they don’t care about life,” a nurse from Harrisburg cried when she found out people were protesting to reopen P.A. “They don’t care about the people around them and the people they love. I care about the people.”

 

Sarcasm aside, I want this virus to end, too. I’m going crazy. I want to do hoodrat things with my friends. But after hearing all these medical professionals’ emotional experiences, it makes me question what’s really important. Just look at this Saudi doctor who broke down in tears when his son tries for a hug. Heartbreaking.

“It’s disrespectful, narrow-minded, and ignorant,” John Austin, 32, from Los Angeles, said of the recent protest. He is one of the many who have lost someone to that cruel bitch, Rona, and does not want to risk any more lives. “We absolutely could’ve prevented many of the deaths had our federal government been more proactive.” 

 Austin is not alone. In an N.B.C. News/Wall Street Journal poll, nearly 60% of Americans are concerned that reopening the economy too soon will be detrimental. 

Dr. Fauci, director of NIAID, told CNN that reopening too soon can potentially lead to a future outbreak. And if we reopen the economy, it’s the workers who are at risk of exposure, not Karen. She only has to be out for her one-hour hair appointment before her brunch session with the gals, where she’s can’t wait to yell a whole quarantine worth of complaints to her server. #GETEXCITED 

And guess who has to go through the cycle of deaths and tears again? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not those pretty people on Grey’s Anatomy.

But let’s go back to that, the whole needing to working for a living wage thing. Yes, it’s horrible that many small businesses are shut down or in danger of permanently closing, but are there really no jobs available during hashtag CoRonaTime?

A sassy reporter also was wondering this when she asked N.Y. Gov. Cuomo about employment concerns at a press conference. And when he answered, man, he wasn’t having any of it.

“You want to go to work? Go take a job as an essential worker,” he said. Man, I haven’t heard a clap-back that hard since Charlie Murphy slapped the shit outta James Brown. Cuomo said that if you really want a job, you can find one. “It’s not just about you, you have a responsibility to me. It’s not all about you. . . and nothing comes before the public health risk of somebody else’s life.”

So, I guess when people are protesting for haircuts and golf courses, what they really mean is that they want you to go back to work and risk your life so they can get their first world privileges back. Cuz Merica! Fuck yeah!  

“It’s easy to dismiss the anti-lockdown protest as business,” Maia Niguel Hoskin wrote in Vox op-ed. She argues how some of the protesters’ ideals are racist and only benefit a select few while hurting the poor, working class. “And if they do return to ‘regular life’ and refuse to distance themselves, their overt disregard will impact the population most vulnerable to the virus – black people.” 

These people are “essential workers,” not sacrificial lambs

I mean, your Rona job doesn’t have to be permanent. You can drive for Uber, or deliver for DoorDash, or even set up an OnlyFans. And you don’t even have to get naked or do sexual stuff; some girls make a bunch of money from just showing their feet. Don’t let anyone tell you that showing your feet online isn’t a real job, cuz them dollar signs don’t lie.

Oh, the irony so real it hurts.

So there are jobs out there, money can be made. It’s not going to be easy. But maybe you’re not trying hard enough. Perhaps you just need to realize your worth and get whatever job you can right now to pay the bills. Oh, snaps, boomers! Doesn’t sound reassuring when you hear it, huh?

Behind all the jokes and comments I’ve, I believe the argument to reopening the economy so people can make a living wage is valid. And if you want to protest, go ahead, it’s your constitutional right. *Cough* Just like Pro-Choice and B.L.M. *Cough* Irony *Cough* With many states already starting to reopen, I know many people will begin to feel that FOMO.

 

However, if 60% of Americans and many medical professionals think that reopening the economy prematurely will jeopardize our chances of combating the virus, maybe we should listen. Or, at the very least, come up with a better reason than your First World Problem when protesting, selfish prick. 

PS, this song below describes my love for musicals and how much I miss my friends during the quarantine.


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The Novela Coronavirus: How COVID-19 exposed racial prejudice against Asian people

Ye Yellow Fever is coming from the East, rare.

***NOTE: This is meant as a humor piece with some facts, contains strong language.***

It’s only been a few months in the year 2020, but (!) there’s probably a strong argument that this year has sucked lots and lots of balls. So far, the world lost basketball legend Kobe Bryant, Brexit finally went down in January (after years of teasing to pull out like the British Lads they are), and, currently, America is running out of toilet paper. Coronavirus fever has finally hit the States, and it’s causing a flurry of commotion at grocery stores across the nation- resulting in robberies and physical clashing of every Chad and Karen known to man. Are these toilet paper hoarders crazy? Yeah, they probably are. But, who knows? These people might actually need the ultra-softness of Charmin’s mega roll after their assholes explode from eating a Costco worth of ramen noodles and canned beans.

So, why is this Coronavirus making people so crazy? According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, COVID-19, or its street name: Novel Coronavirus, is causing such a ruckus because there currently isn’t a cure, and it’s hard to contain. Seems more like a Novela Virus with all the drama it’s causing. Compared to its cousin Influenza, which only kills less than 1% of those infected, COVID-19 has already killed about 11%. This virus hops onto the next person faster than a contestant on The Bachelor

World leaders have taken drastic action by placing their citizens in a state of quarantine. The economy has also taken a nosedive, causing massive lay-offs. With major music festivals like Ultra and Coachella being canceled or postponed, even Instagram THOTs are feeling the burn of unemployment. And there ain’t no cream for that.

Yes, things are pretty fucking crazy right now. 

But, do you know what’s spreading faster than a Bachelorette’s legs on ABC? I mean, Coronavirus? Racism! Aside from having to worry about getting a virus that makes you cough blood and post memes all day because of having to “Shelter in Place,” people of Asian descent now have to, also, worry about xenophobia and discrimination from idiots who thinks that every John Chinaman is spewing out COVID-19 like NBA star Rudy Gobert at a press conference

Mmm, touch dem mics

Nothing says quarantine like a classic mic stroking, eh? 

France was perhaps the first country out of China to warn its citizens of COVID-19. But for one local newspaper, Le Courier Picard, the print decided to go full Fox News when they labeled the crisis “Alerte Jaune” or, in English, “Yellow Peril.” 

You might ask, “Why is this color-metaphor racist?” Well, my non-yellow friends, it’s because this phrase was used in the early 1900s as propaganda against people of the East. So, is it racist? Maybe we should ask the Chinese woman wearing a protective mask in the picture the print decided to use for their piece. She must be thrilled to be the face of French Coronavirus propaganda. Awkward.

Though the newspaper apologized for their mislabeling and bastardization of Chinese people, the damage was already done. On Twitter, the hashtag  #JeNeSuisPasUnVirus, which translates to “I’m not a virus,” started to flood social media as a means to raise awareness of the rising discrimination against French Asian citizens. I think this whole story is nuts; Asian people in France, actually existing, like in Rush Hour 3, nuts!

As Coronavirus fever made its way to Harry Potter world, stories of Asian students getting their asses beat like it’s the 1840’s were starting to make headlines. One of the first cases involved a Singapore man named Mok on the streets of Oxford. While being assaulted, Mok heard one of the four assailants say, “I don’t want your Coronavirus in my country”. A statement that probably doesn’t sound good in any context. And a month later, four Chinese students wearing medical face masks were harassed at Vincent’s Walk in Southampton. With immigration playing a key role for Brexit, Asian people getting their asses beat was inevitable. I guess having free education doesn’t stop assholes from being arsehole.

I think the sign and hat isn't bad. But that girl in the back, too far, bro.

I think the sign and hat aren’t bad. But that girl in the back, too far, bro.

Even in the land where weed and hookers are legal, the Netherlands, there are cases of racial discrimination. A Korean woman was almost assaulted by two men while riding her bike, Meghan Rajagopalan reports on BuzzFeed News. The victim, Jiye Seong-Yu, said she heard one of the men yell out “Chinese” as he swung. Rajagopalan’s piece also mentions a Korean American woman living in Amsterdam who was harassed online. The woman was called a “Chinese bitch” on Facebook and received other hateful comments. 

And the COVID-19 World Tour doesn’t stop there. America may be late to the party, but we are currently putting all the other country’s racist games to shame. 

Starting from the East Coast in NYC, a woman named Min, who goes by @princessmin_c on Twitter, said that a woman sitting across from her moved when she coughed. Min said the woman also covered her face before she decided to play a game of Runawayfromtheasian. 

In San Fernando Valley, a 16-year-old Asian kid was beaten and sent to the hospital because his schoolmates thought he had the Coronavirus. A couple of miles away, a man was yelling at an Asian woman about how all the “Chinese” are dirty on the Los Angeles Metro. The kicker is that the woman isn’t even Chinese. I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: a man of color assuming the woman is Chinese or that he believes this woman just flew in from Cronavirusville, China, only to ride in the elegant carriage of the LA Metro?

Mind you, these are just a few accounts from an overabundance of many. Every time I’m on NextShark, I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed with all the new stories flooding in, gangbanging my faith in humanity. 

Even esteemed news sources like CNN and NPR are chiming in, telling people to not do something that I didn’t think needed to be said. It’s gotten to the point where California’s Governor, Gavin Newsom, had to address the recent rise in racial prejudice against Asian people in a press conference.

When talking about big media covering the Coronavirus, we, of course, have to talk about the elephant in the room: Fox News.

On an episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, the comedian jests about how one Fox News correspondent really felt about China. (It’s at the 16-minute mark of the episode/link). Spoiler Alert: Donald Luskin doesn’t think they are civilized people. Though, it’s not surprising with similar past segments on FOX taking the piss out of Asian people who (literally) can’t defend themselves. Just between you and me, everyone at Fox kinda looks like your average neighborhood racist that hates the “Chine-knees” but still jerks-off to oriental porn when the wife’s at spin class.

Haters gonna hate. During these trying times, people would usually look to their leaders for pluralism and guidance. But, this is “Trump’s America” we’re talking about. 

Between the tariffs and political ass-kissing, President Trump has a complicated relationship with China. Unlike with Russia, where the leader is literally Putin it in his mouth, Trump’s relationship with Jinping is more of a

Yeah, he said it.

will-they-or-won’t-they kind of situation.

However, the president of the United States made his feelings pretty clear when referring to COVID-19 as the “Chinese Virus” in a tweet. An unfortunate choice of words would probably be a gross understatement. Of course, Trump being Trump didn’t stop his White House staff from using the term “Kung-Flu” at a press dinner. CBS News correspondent Weijia Jiang had the honor of being the “Asian person in the room” for the staff to throw down their new slang. The amount of professionalism here is equivalent to, “If I say it to my Asian friend, then it must be ok.” 

Just like the time your white friend asked your black friend if it’s ok to use the “N-word” if he uses a soft “a” and not the “er,” it’s a hard fuckin’ no! Especially at an official White House event filled with reporters, you fucking idiots.  

You might be thinking, “The president and these officials aren’t being PC, who cares?”

I guess it would be ok . . . if we were in our 20’s and at a fucking frathouse. But these are public officials who are held to a higher standard! 

Just because Trump can’t use big words, we can’t have the president of the US demonizing an entire race by personifying a virus as Chinese. There are already stupid people who can’t tell the difference between Chinese people from China and Asian people from other countries . . . in Asia . . . that isn’t China. I know this isn’t exactly rocket science, but sometimes I feel like it is. 

Honestly, I can keep going on about shit people doing shit things, but let’s start wrapping this up. I know I’ve given a lot of examples, but, like a child asking for a toy a hundred times, I feel like I have to annoy you till you feel pissed off to do something about it. 

I actually got a taste of this Coronaracism last month when I was called a DIRTY CHINESE, CORONAVIRUS, and a ZIPPERHEAD. This happened in the locker room at the 24 Hour Fitness in Koreatown by a Latino guy. In fucking Koreatown! Full of Asians, I know, the balls on this guy. 

Truth be told, I was taken by surprise. This was one of those “I hear about it online, but it never happens to me” kinda deal. So, I did what any millennial would do: write about it on Facebook. 

I was actually surprised by how many people responded to my post with support. I was even more surprised how some of my non-Asian friends were unaware of the current Yellow State of Affairs. Though I shouldn’t have been surprised since racism isn’t new. 

But why now? Why is it currently “ok” for stupid people to Trojan Horse their chauvinistic feelings against Asian people during Coronapocalypes? 

Anna Russell tries to answer this question in her piece for The New Yorker, “The Rise of Coronavirus Hate Crimes.” Her article points out that dumbasses feel it’s ok to attack Asian people because “lots of people agree” with the attacker’s emotions. In millennials words, because it’s fucking trending. I’m just paraphrasing here. 

A lot of people’s lives have been affected by this virus, and some of those people feel the need to blame someone. And it’s not gratifying blaming a virus because a clump of RNA can’t react to someone’s grievance (unless it’s the anime Cells at Work). 

So what’s the next best thing? It’s good ole fashion racism. The situation has gotten so bad in America that some Chinese Americans now fear for their lives. Just look at these testimonials in The New York Times from people who have been attacked

You’re probably wondering, how can we stop this intolerance against Asian people? Well, it’s easy, really. But the fact that I even have to say it is absurd; DON’T BE A FUCKING RACIST! 

What if you’re in a situation where an Asian person is being bullied, and you’re not the one being racist? Well, Josephine Harvey tells us precisely what to do in her piece for the HuffPost. If you see something, say something. 

It could be as simple as saying, “Hey! Not cool, bro.” If you’re more of an action person, then you can just stand next to the victim. Just a sense of solidarity goes a long way. If bystanders show support for the victim, then the perpetrator might realize it’s not normal to be a racist dick. Be like this guy standing up for his fellow American citizen on an NYC train. 

And now reporting Coronavirus-related attacks is even easier with this new website by Asian American and Pacific Islander groups. According to NBC News, the information collected will be used by nonprofit groups for education and media campaigns telling people to, you know, not be a racist.

For all you racist out there, all I’m asking for is just some basic things: read a map and figure out the difference between a Chinese person and another Asian person; stop assuming every Asian person has the Coronavirus because we probably all have it by now; maybe educate yourself about the virus and how it isn’t in every Asian-looking person’s DNA (you uneducated swine); and, most importantly, you should stop punching Asian people in angry mobs then running away (you fucking coward). If you think an Asian person has the Cough of Death and you run towards ‘em, then you definitely deserved to be coughed on. Unless you’re Stretch Armstrong, punching someone isn’t exactly social distancing.  

Right now, the Coronavirus isn’t just a Chinese problem; it’s a global epidemic. Even if you think this corona thing is a hoax, this problem will affect your life, whether you like it or not. The circumstances have changed, and we need to band together if we’re going to survive. I know being in quarantine is driving you mad, and you’re probably playing around with the idea of starting an Only Fans/Patreon, but we gotta stop stabbing Asian people at grocery stores. If we can’t do that, then at the very least, stop buying more than one mega roll of toilet paper. Because if people run out of to-go napkins to wipe their butts with, then we’re going to have a pinkeye epidemic next. 

I guess it’s time for those Micky Dz napkins.

 

Yeah, I screenshot this. I stand by what I did.


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No Fadah, Moe Problams

This past Christmas, my father spent the festive night getting his gallbladder removed at Kawiia Delta Hospital. Despite being about ten or so years older than Baby Yoda, his health is not the ass-beating Asian father of nine he once was. I remember seeing my father stumble towards the front door the night before Krampus came for his inside cookies. I was sleeping in the living room when I woke up at 4 am to a thumping sound. Thinking it was my brother who was still drunk from a holiday party he and I attended a few hours before, I got up and yelled, “What the fuck you still doing up?” To my surprise, I saw it was my father, pressed against the wall. Between heavy breaths, he told me he was in pain and was making his way outside to meet my sister, who was taking him to the hospital.

I rushed to my father’s aid, escorting him outside by the arm. The early morning was cold as balls. I could feel my father shivering as we carefully made our way down the rain-drenched driveway. When I opened the car door, my father immediately sunk his body into the passenger seat. His eyes were closed, one arm clutching his stomach as the other found its place on the “Oh Shit” handle above the door. Seeing the man, who I thought was the toughest SOB growing up, in pain woke me up to a possible future where my father would die thinking I am a failure.

Growing up, my father was hard on me. Not to sound like the stereotype, but my father is the “typical Asian dad.” Like most Tiger Dads, he yelled at me when my grades fell below A’s (because B is for bitch); instead of getting grounded, I would get my ass beat; and, of course, he wanted me to become *enter my bad impersonation* doctor. He had a plan . . . until I (his firstborn son who had the opportunity to be the first of the family to attend a 4-year university) told him, “fuck all that.”

My parents and I at my SFSU graduation

Of course, I gradually disappointed my father with a soft lie of wanting to become a teacher. If I dropped the news like napalm, he would have had a heart attack from all the shame.

Even if my father wanted to voice his concerns for my questionable career choice, it would have been difficult because of our cultural differences. Typically, an Asian American son would know how his Asian father was feeling from the strength of his backhand. (JK…Kinda) Our relationship was(is) no different. So you can see why I avoided those father-son chats; my ugly face can’t take high-fives anymore. But when we did have our chats, the conversation would usually end with “You could do better,” or “Stop fucking up, dumbass.”

Looking back at it now, it’s probably not what my father intended for me to feel. He was trying to raise me how he knew best, learning from his father before him. But, needless to say, the constant fear of disappointing him put a lot of pressure on me.

Eventually, I stood up to my father and told him how I really felt (like them white kids on ABC Family). Haha PSYCH, no fucking way. I listened to my Asian side and ran away from my feelings, limiting my communication with him and avoided any conversations about my future.

Once my father got the hint, he started backing off. Then my twenties took OFF! Without having to worry about being the perfect Asian son, I was free from the guilt as I frolicked aboutsss in college. All it cost me was a healthy relationship with the man whose sack I swam from.

When you are young, you’re stupid. For real, think about being in your early 20’s and in college. I didn’t give a fuck about another person’s opinion, nor did I care about being some “model minority.” I was living the American Dream, baby. My ego had a BBC, and it was just swingin’ it in the air.

But all of that big dick energy went away on Christmas as I reverted back to a prepubescent teen who was afraid of disappointing his dad.

It’s a shame that it took an exploding gallbladder to make me realize how much of a child I’ve been, a thirty-year-old man-child who thought he could put a pause on time until he was ready to become an adult. But time doesn’t wait for anyone (unless you’re hella rich, then you can do whatever you want). Growing up isn’t a choice for me anymore; it’s a sobering reality.

Facing my father’s morality made me reflect on what I want for my future. I can’t change who I am and all the choices I’ve made in my life. And though I don’t want to be a bad Asian boy anymore, I cannot deny my hopes and dreams as an individual. I suppose, now, all I can hope for is to use the remaining time to make my dad proud by my standards. Or at least pay off my student loans. Come on, Liberal Arts Degree! Digivolve into a money-making machine!

#SorryAsianParents

PS, I know I’m not alone when it comes to immigrant children and daddy/mommy issues. Good luck to those out there who are going through the same struggles of finding your own identity.


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Life Is Short; Cherish Your Loved Ones

I would like to share a letter I wrote to my friends after someone shared with me some words to remember after the death of a loved one:

 

Someone who I had worked with recently passed away; her name was Judy. I didn’t work with her much, but I knew the fun person she was and the energy she brought to the room.

One of her close friends, Mark, gave me some wise words that have been lingering in my mind since last Thursday. While drinking a few Titos and soda with a Titos back, he told me to cherish the people who bring joy to my life because you never know what’s going to happen or when they will leave this world.

What Mark said made me think about all the times I have shared with everyone (my friends in the ZipperSquad) in and out of this group. All of those euphoric, blurry nights at music festivals (especially at the Electric Daisy Carnival) and beyond. For some of y’ all, it was like beyond, beyond.

I’m starting to realize that we are all living our life, growing into the spirited person we are all meant to be. And, of course, with life comes death. As we continue to grow from stupid teenagers to even sillier Adults, our encounters with lost will become more frequent as time continues to do its natural thing.

Sometimes our paths in life don’t always run alongside another or intercepts often, but that doesn’t mean the time we have shared was for naught. We have shared moments of joy and, of course, we were together in times of need. The company we each provided was the foundation of happiness I felt as I attempted to mature through my 20s.

In the grand scheme of things, all the hiccups and mistakes we all have made doesn’t really matter. What does matter is the bonds we forged through nights filled with side-aching laughter alongside those grey days showered by our tears. Life is short and we never really know what’s going to happen. I wish for everyone to appreciate the friends and family you keep and hope for you to enjoy their company to the fullest.

This could all be a bunch of gibberish from a man with too much time to think. But I would be lying if I said I don’t daydream of partying with everyone from dusk to dawn, or if I forgot about those times where we would sing offkey on our way to a burrito spot, or if I did not value the countless nights where I drunkenly shared a piece of myself. However, I did tell a lie. When I felt the distance between our friendship begin to grow, I reflected a cold manner where I did not care. Though some of y’ all saw through my facade, I was selfish to do so.  My memories with everyone are endless, and so is my sincere affection for everyone.

 

I hope this message sparks a nostalgic stroll in that beautiful mind of yours. It could be tomorrow when hearing that one song causes your brain to malfunction, looping the same memory as the music teleports you to the past. Or it could be when you spontaneously burst in laughter and can’t stop smiling at some stupid meme that uncovers a forgotten moment. If you have missed your bus stop because you couldn’t help looking at festival pictures suggested by Facebook Memories, or any other moments like these, then I implore you to reshare that memory and tell them how much you appreciate the impact of their friendship.

 

(TL;DR) Sorry for rambling on. Just so I can sound like a broken record, just make sure you appreciate one another and cherish those bonds that you have formed with your friends, current or past. If someone is on your mind make sure you tell them that they have a special place in your heart and that you will always remember the times you have spent with one another. If you ever find yourself where you need a friend to talk to, reach out. Depression and social anxiety in our generation are common, and your friends are there for you. Being vulnerable is ok. Just being there to listen can be all someone needs. Life is too short for pettiness to come between love for another. Remember, friends are the family you chose; there is a reason why you selected them to be a part of yourself and your journey.