Anytime I can make a dick joke, I’ll take it . . . Even if it might bring light of my Asian shortcomings. Despite my need of an additional 4 inches, I’m regretfully comfortable being average.
By Airec Sype.
Long story short, a mother in Yiwu, China, refused to let firefighters save her trapped child by breaking the window of her BMW and wished to wait for a locksmith. She basically decided that her material object was more important than her son. And I doubt that it was because she didn’t have car insurance.
Damn, stuff like this really pisses me off. Of all the moments where I wished a negative story wasn’t about an Asian person, this is probably in the top 5. This kind of reassures that stereotype that Asians, particularly women, are materialistic. I’m not saying all Asians are like that, but this c*nt really is.
My parents used physically discipline on me when I was growing up. However it was only used when I was doing something stupid, never was there an incident where my father or mother came home after a night of drinking and beat me. I understand that their form of discipline was one borrowed from their old country; they didn’t know of any other structure of discipline. However there is no exception in this case, this lady wanted to make sure her posh BMW stayed unharmed while her child was dying in a car that was being baked by scorching heat; now that is some sh*t that is unforgivable.
I first found this story on Uproxx and did a little more research on a Yahoo! news page. So needless to say, many Internet outlets have picked up on this story. Not to mention the public shaming by random people through social media, like Twitter and other blogs.
Moral of the story is don’t leave your kid in a car during high temperatures. And if your child is locked in a car during a heat wave then smash that window to save YOUR OFFSPRING! Don’t be a bad Asian; you’re suppose to be smarter than that. SMH!
I know this site is called #SorryAsianParents, but this lady needs one for #BadAsianParents. I feel sorry for this kid who has to grow up knowing that his life isn’t worth a window on a BMW. If only China had affordable car insurance like GEICO.
Here is a piece I did 2 years ago on EDC. Check it out and have a few laughs! Don’t take it too seriously.
With only just a few days till the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas, I think it’s time for me to provide some BROs v. PROs tips from my six years of attendance (embarking on my 7th year down the rabbit hole this year). This will be a continuation of my partner, Koko’s, blog post, “Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC 2014.” So make sure you check her post out as well, she has a bit more information for the ladies than I do.
Before I continue on with this long laundry list of BROs vs PROs do’s and don’ts, I would like to say a DISCLAIMER!: I am not an expert in any field, except for the field of disappointing my Asian parents (which is why I created the hashtag…
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By Airec Sype.
Edited by Broscobar
“You’re pretty cute, for an Asian guy.”
One of the many phrases that I’ve heard in my life that opposes my ethnicity as an Asian-American. That disclaimer lingers in my mind; are they trying to flatter me and what attractive features I actually possess, or are they trying to sneak an insult about the lack of attractive features my ethnicity at large possesses?
If I’m cute, then why need to add a qualifying clause. Why the need for a justification!? I’m flattered, but what about all the other Asian boys? Dose she (and others who utter this phrase) think that the majority of Asian males are ugly, or weird-looking, or perhaps strange anime characters who belongs in J-pop bands?
Other statements like, “You’re not that smart for an Asian,” or, “You probably know some form of martial arts,” also resonates with me. Despite the last statement being pretty badass (cuz we AZN kick ass), it seems clear that there are plenty of stereotypes (positive and negative) thrown at my face constantly.
In fact, recently I’ve learned that these kinds of statements that includes an Asian qualifying clause, is a form of microaggression. Hell, I wrote a whole blog post about it a month ago.
It’s sometimes difficult determining which form of microaggression to praise and which to reject in an angry-minority-blogger-kind-way. Sure I’ll gladly accept the fact that you think I’m cute, but I will revile this common unholy standard of attractiveness for Asians and this belief of a small penis!!! (>.<) !!!
So how do we determine what is OK to say and if the person who spoke the offense, if any, is at fault?
My buddy, Daniel, 25, of San Francisco, says, “Sometimes the person who committed the microaggression may not be aware of it, and yet it happens all the time when people use generalization based on race, gender, or use stereotypes.”
What does that mean? If I say that all Asians are good at math, then does that mean I’m a little bit racist? Or if I say that all Jewish people are good at saving money, does that mean I secretly think Jews are cheap? Or if I open a door for a random girl, then does that mean I’m secretly a misogynist? (Actually true story, some woman on my first week of college got upset at me for opening the door for her, pff. She should have walked faster if she didn’t want me to give her a taste of my gentlemanly qualities!)
This is all confusing, I’m sure. I, too, am also at fault for spewing negative racial, sexual, cultural and many other -als out there. Especially during a heated game of HALO! But I don’t think I’m a racist; I think I’m just a jackass in the nicest way possible. This does not stop me from using microaggressive Asian stereotypes as jokes or joke about other racial (or any other class of people) stereotypes.
Can an Asian make racial jokes about Asians? I’m sure I can; I’m Asian.
. . . don’t lie you P.C. America; we all do it . . . it could be in a subtle-behind-closed-doors form or in a vulgar matter . . . we’re (well a large sum of us) idiots, which is why half of the world hates us . . .
Here is an example of me exercising my microaggressive urges. A friend of mine, Martin, 28, a college educated man of San Francisco, made carne asada fries and I comment: “The Mexican is strong in you.” Did my comment imply that my friend is now a better Mexican because he can make these south of the boarder fries . . . hell yea. I won’t shy away from calling my statement a little racist. Like how I would post on my black friends Facebook wall, “Happy Martin Luther Kings Day.”
Martin returned the joke by saying, “My parents would be proud, Airec Syprasert.” Our banter is one that implies that he is a better “Mexican” because of his skill to cook a dish with a Latin flavor, instead of his career. This is the kind of relationships that me and many other people in the world have with their friends. We share a racially open alliance where one could use racial stereotypes to aid or hurt one another, all for a good laugh . . . or a stinging burn!
Comedians like Dave Chappelle and Kevin Shea also uses racial stereotypes in their jokes, but the general public views them as comics rather than racists.
Was it racist when Shea says, in the video, that black people have white people to “worry” about, or that the last Asian man on Earth would be chasing his dog for dinner? Yeah. But it’s funny! The comedy of truth. Even today the internet is popping up with numerous of blogs and vblogs ranting about how white people are oppressing blacks in America.
Here is Jimmy O. Yang with some more Asian stand-up. It’s funny but borderline racist.
In the name of microaggression, the blanket word that shines an ugly racial light onto everything American, it does seem like everything is a tad-bit-sometimes-always-a-baby-racist. But if everything is racist, then that’s bad right? If everything racist is bad, then why do comedians make racially profound jokes/commentary, or why do best friends throw offensive hay-makers and maybe an occasional n/c-word or two?
My Jewish friend, lets call him J-Friend, 24, graduate student at USF, believes that the people who uses the term microaggression are hyper politically correct people, claiming that everything is racist.
“Microaggression is one of those terms I can’t help but roll my eyes when I hear it,” he says. “I’m more callous than others but I think racist jokes, and even antisemitic jokes, are hilarious.”
So now with this new generation of “minorities,” we are faced with this racial line that divides actual racism and comedy.
Also, if someone refuses to see comedy in microaggression, then does that mean that person is a little bit racist? Can a person be so politically correct that subconsciously their mind is being microaggressive?
“In some ways though you are right; some people who proclaim to be the most non-racist are basically gentle racists,” J-Friend said. “Like the white Social Justice Warrior(s) f*cks who runs around being every ethnic minorities white knight calling racism everywhere. Like if you’re more pissed off than the supposed victims then it seems like you’re doing it more for mental masturbation than actual justice.”
I will admit that I dislike some of the white SJW at SFSU. I understand that some Caucasians have “white guilt,” but you don’t have to be the forerunner for every minorities battle. This eagerness to jump to a minority defense is what caused some whites to be accused of “march-jacking” the police brutality protest in the Bay Area.
I also cannot stand the minorities that claims that everything is racist. Even some people think Chappelle is a racist. This feeling was ever so true in my Asian American studies classes. Not everything is racist . . . Well let me rephrase that, not everything that can seem racist is meant with malice or harmful intent.
I guess this is why we have terms like microaggression . . . oooppp . . .
“I think racism just is the negative stuff that no one actually inherits or passes down or is proud about, while the positive stuff being cultural tradition type stuff that people are proud about and want to pass on,” Broscobar says, 25, graduate of UC Berkeley. “Jokes are a different matter though. Sincerity goes out the window and it’s all entertainment. Laughing at a racist joke is the goal because it exists in a vacuum; it’s not supposed to be passed on and no one is supposed to want to pass on or inherit the negative stuff.”
Intent seems to be the key factor when it comes to microaggression, everyday human interactions and comedy. When it comes down to it, it’s really hard to say what is right and wrong when friends are throwing blows at each other or when race, and other nouns of oppression, is used as a comedic trope. Race is a touchy subject and will continue to be one as long as there are ignorant people in the world.
However, this and the blanket term “microaggression” shouldn’t hold you back from making a joke, as long if it’s without malice intent (that word again). Comedy is just tragedy plus time right? So is it ok to laugh now? I also don’t think that my friends who says that Asians have small penises are all racist (I’m average when I’m not drunk, fyi), nor do I think they harbor secret racist feelings. They are idiots, but I guess they’re my idoits? Unless you’re like this Asian girls ex-boyfriend, then you’re just a f*cking racist and gets NO pass! So lighten up, throw some microaggression around . . . an intelligent person should be able to determine what is harmful or not: respect each other out there. Don’t be a jackass.
-Till next time, Sype.
-ps, I do think there is still racism out there, I’m just talking about a little bit of diet racism.
By Airec Sype
I am Asian-American.
What does that mean exactly? Shit, I don’t really know.
I guess if you break AA down to its two root words, my ethnicity is composed of Asian and American. (Also being American can mean a bunch of different things, in this sense I’m talking about mainstream “white-America,” I guess. But I’m not trying to be racist here, or at least not too racist).
So I’m Asian-American. Parents were born in Asia, I was born in America; I have spiky hair and sharp eyes, but I don’t have an Asian accent . . . most of the time, sometimes it just slips out, just the tip (;P). All of these things that compose me are borrowed cultural stereotypes and figures that mix the two worlds into my own.
Even though two different cultures are infused in me, you can say that I am not really Asian or American. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? The bewildering thought of assimilation or cultural segregation is one that many children of “color” (like me) are confronted with every day: Do I strive to become a part of mainstream America (again, what the hell is mainstream America? I know with my short height and yellow skin I’m not “white” but I am still an American) or do I isolate myself from the crazy melting-pot-culture of America and choose to stick with the familiar and become another Asian?
I don’t know.
Not many of us children of mixed heritage know. For we do want to be a part of this modern day America, but we also don’t want to lose touch with our parents’ culture that they have brought with them as they dreamed for a better life for their children. For if I were to lose my Asian heritage, then I would just be a goofy-Asian-looking-white-boy who doesn’t know where he came from besides his fathers balls. Yeah, that’s kind of weird to think of. I already get hateful looks of disdain and disgust when Chinese people, mistaking me for their own, try to speak to me in their language and I respond to them with a blank face and Engurish.
See, even Asians can be racist against other Asians.
But this Asian heritage- what is it really? I can tell you one thing: there is a lot of fucking pressure. It’s not easy growing up with society labeling you the model minority. Just like how American society assumes that most African-Americans are good at sports, or how Jewish people are good at saving money, Asian Americans are also stigmatized and branded with stereotypical pressures that can sometimes be overwhelming.
Am I good at ping pong? No. Am I good at racing rice rockets? No. Am I good at math? Ehh, kinda but that’s not the point. But I’m good at beer pong, I’m good at wrestling (a popular American sport to participate in during high school, and I should probably say I was good since I’m fat and doughy now) and not Judo (an Asian martial arts). I can continue but you get what I mean.
American society isn’t solely to blame for this “Asian” social pressure on us hybrid kids; our own culture has a hand in it as well. (And anyone with an Asian mother knows we fear that hand). We all have heard the stereotypes of strict Asian parents, the tiger moms. Our parents may not necessary want us to be super Asians, but they do pressure us to become doctors or get A’s (because B is for bitch) on our report cards . . . cause if we don’t, we get the fly-swatter. Haha, just kidding . . . actually not really.
With all of these obligations and demands that outside forces put on us, as an individual, to become the perfect model-minority-Asian-American, it’s really easy to disappoint. Not only does this mentality create a competitive atmosphere with other Asian Americans, but it also creates a negative internal dialogue within ourselves. Which is probably why suicide amongst Asian Americans is so high.
I mean, how do I become the perfect Asian if joining a fraternity wasn’t in the plans of becoming a doctor? Is it really that shameful if your child that was spawned into this free world of America decides to become an English major and instead of a doctor or a lawyer or a scientist? Oh no, how will you tell the (Asian) neighbors?? We’re not some trump cards in your mahjong game of who-has-the-more-successful-kid!!!
Actually, I had to lie to my parents about joining a fraternity and told them that it was a club for future teachers. Luckily my parents were from villages with huts and shit so they don’t know what Myspace and Facebook are. Also on a side note, I joined a social fraternity and not an ethnic fraternity. If I wanted to hangout with other Asian people, I could go to Chinatown or join the ASU, I don’t need to pay for that; my money went to fund my adventures with brothers from another ethnic mother and to help me find women who aren’t ASIAN!!!
So as you can see, I have a lot of short-comings to being the perfect model minority. And I’m sure some of you out there (you don’t have to be particularly Asian-American, I know some kids who are failing as Mexican-Americans) also face the same trials and tribulations of modern day second-generation life. If there was a report card for being the ultimate Asian-American and pleasing my Asian parents, I probably would get an F.
But the F doesn’t always have to stand for Failure; it could also stand for Fucking (Awesome).
Now what is this blog? This blog, SorryAsianParents, is going to be a documentation that is composed of my thoughts and feelings, although not all of my thoughts and feelings within this blog are going to be about my journey to becoming the perfect Asian-American. Some of my posts will be of some random shit I thought of while I was sitting on the MUNI or the toilet. A lot of random but funny stuff.
Hopefully they will be humorous for your entertainment and hopefully they will have a slim number of grammatical errors (because everyone knows I speak and write Engurlish).
The name of my blog was birthed during my last year in coolage (I know it’s spelled wrong) while I was bored in class and Instagramming a picture about graduation. See – I wasn’t paying attention in class – bad Asian! I created the hashtag #SorryAsianParents to describe a picture that thanked Red Bull and Wikipedia for the credit of one’s graduation success. I dedicated that picture to my parents because my wit did not help me graduate alone and I needed the help of study aids.
*Note: I did not create the picture
Whether it was subconsciously made or just a fluke accident due to my random collective thoughts firing without a filter, I created something hilarious that generated positive reception. I’m just glad not many people were offended.
So here it is, my new writing project that will not only explore the existence of Asian-Americans living and surviving in mainstream America but also exploring the random idiotic thoughts of Airec Syprasert. Enjoy the ride folks because it’s going to be an interesting one. And if I’ve revealed too much about myself or about my family then I might as well say it now, “Sorry Asian Parents.”