#SorryAsianParents

A goofy kid just trying to make sense of the world while trying to be Asian American


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A (JADED) RAVER RETURN TO EDC

(Original post was on iHeartRaves)

After taking a year off, I attended my 8th Electric Daisy Carnival. Which also happened to be the 20th Anniversary of the iconic festival hosted by Insomniac Events. I, like many seasoned ravers, have uttered the phrase: “This is going to be my last EDC”. And like the many, we have failed multiple of times to live that statement through.

Many things have inspired my return to my favorite festival: My travel partner returning home from her duty in the Peace Corps, the 20th birthday of EDC and my crews itching to return to Vegas and rage. These are just a few reasons, but do you really need a reason to go back to E. D. Mother Effin’ C!

There is just something about EDC that overwhelms my heart over other festivals. Maybe it was the magic that I felt in 2010 when it was last held in Los Angeles. Or perhaps it was the immense amount of energy that surged through me when the Electric Sky first cast its illuminating lights over the once silent ground of the LV desert. Judging how0617161748b this event has sold out the last three years, I’m not the only one that feels this way.

Prior to the actual event, the Strip hosted numerous pool parties and club events for EDC Week. I was lucky to have attended the Jauz pool party at Marquee. Being my old age, I was destroyed and was not able to continue to TAO for Dreamstate before the stroke of midnight. The idea of YOLO anything now hurts my head. However, many seasoned EDCLV veterans would know that Day 0 (Thursday) is perhaps the only night to actually do Vegas-Vegas. It was a good time to bond and rage with friends, catch up with your festival crew that you have not seen in a while (or squad as some of the kids are saying these days).

When Friday quickly came, it was time for my return to the sovereign grounds of EDC. Of course, life and bad decisions the night before did not make it easy. By life, I mean the two-hour traffic from the Strip to the Speedway, and by bad decisions, I mean the ringing hangover that only 600 mg of ibuprofen could only mend.0618161929

Surprisingly, after the hassle of parking and pre-gaming in the parking lot after taking a bunch of selfies with a bright pink selfie stick, the line to get in was not bad. There were three different check points before you can get that good ole pat down (nothing says a festival like getting your balls grabbed). This weeded out the people trying to sneak in, and unfortunately weeded out the people who were sold fake tickets. My heart goes out to your wallets bros and broettes.

Inside the festival guide, which to me looks as if it has been designed to resemble a passport, Pasquale opens up with “Welcome Home, Everyone!” And that is how I felt as I stumble down the steps of the Las Vegas Speedway. There was a lingering sunlight when I made my way down the concrete steps that in my imagination was my Yellow Brick Road. I can see the lights leading me back home. The LED’s, strobes and screens from rides and stages were faint, but I still saw their warm rays of welcome. When I finally reached the dirt covered asphalt, I knew that I was back in Neverland as I was surrounded with a unison of smiles and bright eyes that surveyed the scenery with awe.

This feeling of course only lasted for about 10 hours until the sun came back up and everyone had to zombie themselves through a cattle of zombies back to their car or shuttle. Yet, despite riding the struggle bus at 6 AM the next day, many people still got back on the horse and did it again. Two. More. Times!

I had a great time seeing my friends there. One of my buddies decided to surprise us by getting a ticket to attend Saturday night. His words were, “The friend lineup is just too good to miss out”. And that is one thing that is true since the beginning of this whole shabang. I saw my friends from all over California, from the Windy City of Chicago, those who made it from the East Coast, from pretty much everywhere! From an underground movement to the mainstream stage of today, EDC has always brought friends together. Where reality keeps some of us apart, EDC provides us with a secret liaison from life where we’re each other’s mistress in our very own love story.received_1040445536024987

Another thing that stuck with me was when my buddy said that this was the happiest that he’s seen me in a while. Which is true. I’m not going to get into my own self pity, but I have not been happy, happy for a while. Even at TomorrowWorld as I was dancing my ass off, I was having fun but not truly happy. This can be seen in my everyday life and with all the trolling that I do.

But at EDC, there is just something about being encased in its magic as I was surrounded by friends, dancing my little Asian butt away to trance, grooving my hips to the industrial sounds of techno, jumping away my thigh gap at hardstyle and even slow-motioning what can only be described as a stroke to some dubstep.

What more can I say about EDC that many people haven’t said already? Music was great. The art cars were great. The production and designs of the whole thing was AMAZING! The performers did a spectacular job keeping up the illusion that we were all our very own Alice in a Wonderland that was shared with everyone. However, there were some pretty awful stuff at EDC. Like people getting into fights, leaving the parking lot and trash that is left by attendees. Insomniac can’t be blamed for some of those. They did a great job providing space, water and medical tents for the insurance of everyone’s well being. Just sucks that some people had to be the few sour apples of the ball.

*cough* all of those long trains running through the crowd and not just Asian trains, all sorts of em *cough*

Despite all of that, PLUR was alive and well. From all the post and comments on the EDC Unofficial Facebook page, everyone seemed to have a good time. I even heard about this guy who spent a good amount of time trying to return a wallet and phone. Hell, even being stuck in traffic and singing “Tiny Dancer” and “Valerie” after being stuck in traffic for five hours on the third day was fun. It’s all about the company you keep sometimes.

Did I have a great time? Hell yeah! Would I do it again? Hell yeah! I’m not going to say that I am a better person for going to EDC and my life has now forever changed because I found PLUR. The one thing that I will take away from the experiences from this year is how to be happy.

Even if I don’t go to another EDC for the rest of my life, I will remember the love-felt hugs I shared between friends as we embraced one another, the smile on my face from hearing a song that I’ve over-killed on Spotify, looking into my friends eyes and seeing all of their sadness and sorrows from reality fade away for 3 days, the inside jokes, the thought of introducing your friend to deodorant all the times the DJ told us to put our hands up, all of it.

When I look back at EDC, I won’t hear drops or see people jumping. When I look back at EDC, I will hear a retro 80s synth and see all my friends shimmying down in slow motion with smiles on their faces under the disco lights. If I can remember all of that in my dark times I will have hope and smile, maybe let a little chuckle like a crazy person on the bus, and try to become a better person. Take it from an old jaded raver, EDC may have passed and gone but the magic still lingers, the wonderland we all embarked may have been a construct of our own imagination but the feelings we felt were real and not one can take that away from us.

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Merry Christmas from Koko and Airec and Deadpool

By Airec Sype.

Howdy y’all. It’s been some time since we both have posted on our blog but here we are today. We both have been working on various different projects and still have been writing on different platforms. So it’s sad that we have been neglecting our baby. I (Sype.) am posting on this site because my credit card that was funding the payment for A Dark Minded Giggle expired and it was gonna cost me about 100 bucks to buy back the domain name . . . yeah, f*ck that. So I’m using this.

Let me start off with MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Whereas most families are spending their Xmas together, my dysfunctional but functional Asian family is spending it not together (I’m sure there is a better word for that). Any who, I’m sure we will all be together right before I leave.

Some khao poon and sticky rice with chicken and Thai green chili lime sauce

Some khao poon and sticky rice with chicken and Thai green chili lime sauce

But what a better way to start off the freezing Xmas morning with some Forrest Gump, Asian food and a NEW DEADPOOL TRAILER!!! After being fed up with all the new X-Men B.S. movies that don’t get anything right (forever team Cyclops), this trailer gives me high hopes. Plus it comes out two days after my birthday, good ole 27.

“I don’t have time for your X-Men bullsh*t, Colossus.” – Deadpool

For those of you who doesn’t know, Deadpool -real name Wade Wilson, a play on . . . you know who from DC- is a fictional character from the Marvel Universe. He’s not a hero but more like an anti-hero who kills!!! Google it if it doesn’t make any sense. Well any who, in the upcoming movie, actor Ryan Reynolds will be playing the merc with the mouth. I’ve been waiting for this movie since they f*cked up his character in the lame Wolverine prequels.

But until the movie comes out, I guess I’ll just have to keep replaying the extended trailer and re-watching those little teaser clips of Reynolds mouthing away. Or this awesome one with Deadpool’s children handling skills.

Till next time and happy holidays from the both of us, Koko and Airec

this was a long ass time ago btw

this was a long ass time ago btw


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A Restaurant For Singles in Korea

 

By Airec Sype.

FUN Korean TV shared a hilarious clip of single people dinning in a restaurant in, well, KOREA!!! The restaurant  advertises for single people to dine in and places them in a box like desk that reminds me of taking a test in grade school. Well, they’re Asians, so that environment shouldn’t be too foreign to them. Anyways, after the guest receives their meals, a blinker flashes, asking the guest if they would like to dine with another. If the both of the singles clicks “Yes”, then the wall in front of them will spontaneously drop and it will no longer be a dinner for one.

There’s a lot of funny facial reactions to this. The best one is when one surprise couple were two men. They were probably confused at why they were paired up together. Hilarity does occur, and it seems as some do hit it off . . . or at least they try. Watch the video and find out for yourself!

FUN Korean TV is a site that shares trending videos from Korea. “Play with love”, is their tagline. Their description states:

Fun Korean TV is a Unique platform of Korean funny video clips in the Facebook for International English Users.

I hope to see more stuff from them. And YAY! for Koreans to help us single people out!

Till next time, and relationships are for quitters, Sype.


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SNL Offends EVERYONE on the Internet with Teacher Rape Skit

A little follow-up post from my last post with the help of SNL

Inside the Dark Minds of Koko and Airec

By Airec Sype

The internet was lit on FIRE when Saturday Night Live premiered their skit, “Teacher Trail,” last week which displayed a fictional trail of a teacher who is accused of having sex with a student.

I’m usually a MadTV fan, but once in awhile I’ll come across a SNL skit that I didn’t find too over-the-top-witty and just damn right funny. This was one of those moments.

After watching the skit and hearing the outrage of the moms of Twitter, I didn’t find it offensive at all. It was just a satire on these hot female teacher rape cases (AKA every prepubescent boy-who-has-ever-watched-porn dreams). I mean, I wish I had sex with the cheer-leading coach when I was in high school, but I guess that rite is reserved for the chosen ones.

Harry Shuldman of the NYPost called the skit “tasteless” in his article. He provides some…

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Let Us Celebrate 61 Years of Jackie Chan: My first Asian Hero

(Jaaaackkiieee gots jokes as he post a hipsterized pic of himself on Facebook)

By Airec Sype.

Action comedian actor director singer Jack-of-all-trades Jackie Chan celebrated his 61st birthday earlier this month. So I have to mention it; how can I have a blog that celebrates my Asian American weirdness without talking about one of my heroes JACKIE CHAN!!!

Growing up in America, there were not a lot of Asian heroes for this cute little Asian baby, who was lucky enough to be born in this great nation (MURRICA!), to look up to. Most of the heroes I (or we) had were from the relic VHS tapes that translated kung-fu movies onto giant heavy television boxes.

When I talk to some Asians and Asian-Americans about Jackie Chan, I get the conciseness that you either like him or hate him. Some Asians dislike Jackie Chan (I know this is going to get annoying but it doesn’t feel right just using his last name; there is more power and status if I just keep saying Jackie Chan) because they don’t see him as a martial artist despite him having training in multiple of different styles. But then they’re Asians, like I, who loves this man.

The legacy of Jackie Chan is his ability to combine comedy and action. There is a sense of authenticity to his work because he does almost all of his stunts himself. Uproxx has compiled a list of his notable injuries. This is because he was originally a stunt man in old martial arts films. In fact, he got hit in the face by Bruce Lee himself in a failed attempt of a sneak attack.

However, behind all the action and laughter, Jackie Chan also has a sensitive side. During a press-conference, Jackie Chan reveals how he wants to do a movie about love. Knowing that this might not be the Jackie Chan we all know, he said, “I love to produce movie which I love where I can speak what I want to speak and do what I want to do. It is not all about making money.”

Getting hit in the face by Lee and breaking almost every bone in his body all in the effort of entertaining us, that is the man behind the legend. My favorite movie will probably be Legend of the Drunken Master. That movie has the perfect combination of comedy, action and Asian boys with daddy problems . . . Oh did I forget to mention that this man can SING!!!

Oh yeah, this man got it all.

Let’s go back to this idea of Asian or Asian American heroes. Growing up there really wasn’t much for us to look up to besides these kung-fu flying, fist punching, ass-kicking action heroes. Growing up in the 90’s, the idea of an Asian American in the mainstream media was not feasible.

I’m not saying that there wasn’t any Asian heroes when I was growing up, I just didn’t know about them nor did I have the mature mental capacity to appreciate them (not saying I’m mature, I still act like a frat-boy at times). I was introduced to Yo-Yo Ma while watching an episode of PBS Arthur, but I didn’t really know who that was. There was obviously Michelle Kwan who can literally fly on ice, but I didn’t like ice skating as a kid.

Growing up, I wanted an Asian Arnold, or an Asian James Bond. These were men that I could look up to! I didn’t want the Asian henchmen in the Rambo films who gets gunned down by starving POW to be my heroes. Fu*K those guys, they were WEAK! Or I wanted a swavey Asian guy who can come into a room and swoop the girl, not the creepy four eyed Japanese pervert that the white hero was saving her from.

That is one of the things I was envious of as a kid, these white little boys had someone they could look up to; they were able to picture themselves as the hero and mainstream media reenforced that dream. So if I followed what the 90’s told me, I was bound to be a fu*king four-eyed henchmen who is perving on white woman while getting my ass-kicked by some white guy or just some nerdy sidekick who does all the math homework and robot stuff.

Blacks and Latinos were also lucky. Of course black kids had . . . well they had the whole NBA and hip-hop industry in the 90s to look up to . . . and Malcolm X and MLK. I’m not a complete racist here. And Latinos had Oscar Dela Hoya and Ricky Martin (before he came out). But there I was, thinking that my future can do no better than Mr. Miyagi. And he wasn’t even the main hero of the Karate Kid! THE KARATE KID WASN’T EVEN ASIAN! Thankfully Community fixed that.

I guess that’s why when Al from City Guys first appeared, I hung onto that character. He was one of the first Asian looking males on TV that I saw swooping girls off their feet. The same feeling of inspiration arose when I first saw John Cho in American Pie. Despite their small roles in the show or movies, their presence on the show gave me a light of hope that an Asian American male like me could one day exist in a mainstream American world where my role isn’t the nerdy foreign exchange student . . . and that I too can get cute white girls (but that’s not the point of this conversation.)

Of course now when I look at the Asian American, or just Asian in general, heroes of today, I can think of Jerry Yang, the creator of Yahoo!, or Margret Cho, or the Chinese who left their homeland and built the railroads/gold mines. I can think of people like that who risked their lives or did amazing feats instead of solely relying on action stars like Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa or any other yellow-skinned karate master. But lets not forget those two, they’re pretty badass. Oh, and that Asian kid from 21 and over, his chill-to-pull ratio was 5:5.

That is probably why when shows like Selfie, which has an Asian American male as a lead actor, gets cancelled I feel a little hurt inside. Or actions like replacing the Asian characters in movies like 21 and Dragonball: Evolution hurts the young Asian American community. I feel for the lost of an easy hero for young Asian boys to look up to, to picture themselves as a possible version of their future. Some say that the media is evil, but it was the quickest way for young minority boys like I to picture themselves in the American world. School and books and Asian doctors, pff. That didn’t matter growing up in the rough side of Visalia. Movies was our salvation for a potential better life. In a way, that sense of living vicariously through a fictional character allowed us to be hopeful of becoming a real American. It’s what the media told us.

Despite the lack of Asian males in the media, we still have mix-martial art fighters. But sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s fighting when two Asians are going at it.

Now looking at it in hindsight, we kinda all had a hero with us growing up. I didn’t realize it until I reached college and was able to think like an “adult.” My father kinda is a hero. Any minority kid can call their father a hero, a man who risk his life leaving his old country for a better life for his family, a man who slaves away at work so his children can have an American life/education. Well unless your father was a bastard, then this doesn’t apply to you.

Sure my dad was an SOB at times, but he was there for me and had my back. He didn’t know kung-fu or built robots, but he got his yellow ass over here and fertilized me on the great soil of America so that I didn’t have to make shoes for Nike.

I guess heroes are everywhere, it just took me a little while to realize it. If you’re Asian American, try to be a hero for the kids of tomorrow. Oh and I love you Jackie Chan.

 


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Coaching the Reach-Around

Here is a blog post that I published last weekend when I was on the toilet in Frisco/Denver because I was too scared to use the toilet at the cabin because there were girls staying with us and I didn’t want to scare them off. It’s that deadly . . . all them dim sum doesn’t help the cause.

Inside the Dark Minds of Koko and Airec

By Airec Sype.

A wrestling coach in CREIGHTON, MO, was accused of having sex with a student . . . it seems like this ole song and dance has been popping up more frequently these days.

But before you cringe and picture some old creepy man putting his hands on some hot barely legal teen that’s straight out of a porno, lets look at the accused from a pic that I’m ripping off of KTCV5:

she’s a wrestling coach? hmm . . .

This lady here is Megan Baker, 25 years of age, and her victim is a 17 year-old male. I first caught this story off of UPROXX. Although can we really call the boy a victim if he was clearly “bragging about it” to all of his bros about how he banged his wrestling coach on a school bus.

Here are some funny comments relating to this story:

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